patrick.net

I'm sure her unborn child will be delighted to read later on how much of a disappointment his or her conception was.

In fairness to Bristol, the child was not conceived while she was abstinent, so it does prove that abstinence works.

HydroCabon.
That's funny.

HydroCabron says

My little family has, and always will come first

So her little family does not require a Father? I wonder if Dakota is the Daddy?

http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/09/15/marine.medal.of.honor/

jvolstad says

I wonder if Dakota is the Daddy?

North Dakota or South Dakota?

Sarah Palin raised her children in a home of deep religious faith. She now has three grandchildren, all born out of wedlock. Not a hypocrite.

Warren Buffett believes that he himself should pay higher taxes. Hypocrite.

HydroCabron says

Sarah Palin raised her children in a home of deep religious faith. She now has three grandchildren, all born out of wedlock.

Anyone notice, religion is a dying institution. I still can't figure out what good religion does.

Wow- she looks older than her mom.

It's a formal outlet for libbys to vent...*

Strategist says

I still can't figure out what good religion does.

as far as names go, i don't think todd jr. is taken yet...

jvolstad says

I wonder if Dakota is the Daddy?

The girl is a nymphomaniacal predator. Where do I place my order.

Gee, now they are going to have to DNA test the whole hockey, mushing, football and basketball teams again. Along with the miscellaneous usual suspects and farm animals.

Celebrity? That is an even more awkward 'Mom how did you become famous?' than Kim Kardashian. Well at least Willow is pure; although her boyfriend did try to get a hummer- err I mean get into her Hummer. And republicans try to sharp shoot the Obama family.

Eat shit Crazy says

Don't forget the toll takers on the highway.

Tweety tolls. 1,923 and counting, she never needs change.

SO when a safety expert dies in an accident does it diminish his message?

You Decide!

I think Bristol went from "accident" to "statistical inevitability" a long time ago.

CaptainShuddup says

SO when a safety expert dies in an accident does it diminish his message?

According to your political philosophy, yes:

- John Edwards lives in an expensive neighborhood; therefore his message that solution X would help the poor is to be ignored
- Warren Buffett is wealthy; therefore his message that capital gains are undertaxed is to be ignored
- John Kerry's wife is quite wealthy; therefore he is unqualified to speak on all sorts of matters related to the economy
- Al Gore is fat and has a huge electric bill; therefore anything he says on climate matters is invalid
- A bicycle at the bottom of the Mariana Trench would theoretically be unable to tie a Windsor knot, possibly because of executive orders from Obama; therefore, liberals are to be ignored

Unlike these examples, this cum dumpster actually got pregnant twice while preaching abstinence as the only method of birth control. Since she is a sample size of 1 (or two, maybe), this says nothing statistically about the effectiveness of abstinence. But no such data is needed: abstinence has already been proven worthless on its own as a means of birth control.

The important thing is that this is hilarious.

You don't have to be a rampaging, nymphoid nympho swilling Northern Lights vodka to become pregnant, but it certainly helps.

CaptainShuddup says

SO when a safety expert dies in an accident does it diminish his message?
So it depends upon the type of accident. If she dies accidentally shooting herself after preaching gun safety- yes; if she dies in an aircraft accident maybe not, Bristol preached abstinence and got pregnant twice. Unprotected vaginal sex is not an accident- she needs to look into oral and anal and then maybe she could preach those methods for birth control,

Could it be the virgin birth and the second coming of jesus??

Bristol: "All jizzes are created equal, and are entitled to equal protection under the tweety."

I think she defines abstinence as anything short of a tanker truck of cum.

DieBankOfAmericaPhukkingDie says

Eat shit Crazy says

Even better if the safety expert crashes into the back of and incinerates a church bus cause she was driving distractedly while blowing three hitchhikers.

With a nun's fist up her ass.

As thousands of cream-filled airships pass through a cavernous dirigible hangar, each adding its contents to the ocean contained within, the dimensions of each dwarfed dwarfed by the vast internal emptiness, just as a hotdog is dwarfed by a hallway.

Does she know who the daddy is or is she going to Maury and test with the whole football/basketball/hockey/rowing/hunting team?

DieBankOfAmericaPhukkingDie says

Won't work. She generally does both teams and the audience, everyone, including the hockey moms

And the glee club, the chess club, the debate team, the marching band - even the euphonium section. Everyone except the outlandish over-the-top metaphor spouters; she can't get within a mile of them, as they're already awash in high-quality Mirren-grade tail.

They are changing her name to Amber, because she is always caked in cum juice, like a fly in amber.

Seems like people regularly get pregnant and then get married these days. I did it the other way and I'm an oddity. It's sort of like the Polynesian cultures where a woman could only get married if they could prove their fertility by having a baby. That seems to be mainstreaming lately and it's a mistake to try to fight it. You can counsel against it but once that bridge is crossed it's crossed

I'm thinking that most people don't wait until the woman is pregnant by two different men to tie the knot.

Levi recently married the mother of his 2nd illegitimate child. A child named "Breeze Beretta." Can the real 49 states force Alaska to secede?

Bristol isn't a trend marker. She's a filthy skank and a hoochie.

The Palins decided they might as well get a tax break out of her and declared her a charitable foundation.

Obama declared Indonesia and Kenya states just to cover his birthing ass.

Maybe she can do like mattress girl and make a porn titled "ce pas est une imprégnation"