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What Would Really Happen If Earth Were Visited By Extraterrestials
invite response
2014 Jun 18, 11:00pm 22,280 views 50 comments
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Y
2014 Jun 19, 10:44pm
We'd have a sale on terrestials....
What Would Really Happen If Earth Were Visited By Extraterrestials
Y
2014 Jun 19, 10:54pm
This is a vast conspiracy to ripoff DirecTV and distribute to all congressmen..
If SETI were going to have "contact", you'd think at this point it'd have already happened. Besides being a front or cover story, I can't think of why they are still trying to contact aliens by "radio".
zzyzzx
2014 Jun 19, 11:29pm
APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says
I know extraterrestrials would seek out and assfuck Oprah.
Obligatory:
New Renter
2014 Jun 20, 1:22am
APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says
And you Apolcalyspefucked it. I hope you're happy.
Oprah is so powerful, she can capture anti gravity technology with her blockbuster butt. Then, we all get UFOs instead of crappy, dirty cars.
She knows how those aliens can't resist butt.
Her butt is so IMMENSE it creates its own gravity!
All butts generate their own gravity.
While all butts do have a black hole it takes a very special butt to generate a singularity.
Man, I'd hate to see the crack in that event horizon!
Shaman
2014 Jun 20, 2:02am
APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says
I know extraterrestrials would seek out and assfuck Oprah.
Obligatory:
I drove through Baker, CA last weekend and I was led to believe the aliens would make jerky of them first!
New Renter
2014 Jun 20, 2:09am
APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says
Oprah better worry about the BUM BITING ALIENS from outer space who react in savage lust to the gleam of her ass when she floating around on the Goodyear Blimp.
Because they are coming!
Can the Goodyear blimp handle that?
I think your plan woudl take a Zeppelin. A Zeppelin filled with more buoyant hydrogen.
As an added bonus the Zeppelin woudl double as a grill.
Ceffer
2014 Jun 20, 2:51am
All butts generate their own gravity.
While all butts do have a black hole it takes a very special butt to generate a singularity.
Man, I'd hate to see the crack in that event horizon!
This is why, as AF has pointed out so adroitly, that the term "Massive Hirsute Lesbian" is incorrect, whereas "Immense Hirsute Lesbian" is appropriate.
It is possible for a hirsute lesbian to be microscopic, like a lesbian black hole, and still be massive, while immense suggests both large size as well as inertia.
Dan8267
2014 Jun 20, 4:14am
What Would Really Happen If Earth Were Visited By Extraterrestials
They would just nuke us from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Drop a few thousand neutron bombs. Irradiate all life. Humans are gone within days if not hours. All infrastructure is left untouched.
Send in robots to take control of all facilities and maintain them, producing any economic output desired. Wait a few hundred years before colonizing and the radiation is gone. Meanwhile, robots can terraform the plant and build colonies.
We would not even know about the existence of the aliens until the bombardment of neutron bombs.
Dan8267
2014 Jun 20, 4:15am
What Would Really Happen If Earth Were Visited By Extraterrestials
Conservatives would build a wall. Problem solved.
Vicente
2014 Jun 20, 5:49am
They would just nuke us from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Nukes? Too expensive to build/transport.
Replicators on the other hand, you only need one and local resources.
Ceffer
2014 Jun 20, 6:29am
The Department of the Interior and the Supreme Court have declared Oprah's butt an alien sanctuary.
New Renter
2014 Jun 21, 4:46am
What Would Really Happen If Earth Were Visited By Extraterrestials
They would just nuke us from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Drop a few thousand neutron bombs. Irradiate all life. Humans are gone within days if not hours. All infrastructure is left untouched.
Send in robots to take control of all facilities and maintain them, producing any economic output desired. Wait a few hundred years before colonizing and the radiation is gone. Meanwhile, robots can terraform the plant and build colonies.
We would not even know about the existence of the aliens until the bombardment of neutron bombs.
They would just nuke us from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Nukes? Too expensive to build/transport.
Replicators on the other hand, you only need one and local resources.
You're both way off base.
All that would have to be done is slightly deflect the path of a large object (asteroid, comet really anything will do) to impact the earth. It might take a few years for the object to hit us but we'd never see it coming or if we did it would be far to late to do anything about it.
The aliens would just sit back and enjoy the show. They could even claim it was a tragic, but natural event.
Dan8267
2014 Jun 21, 11:48am
All that would have to be done is slightly deflect the path of a large object (asteroid, comet really anything will do) to impact the earth. It might take a few years for the object to hit us but we'd never see it coming or if we did it would be far to late to do anything about it.
The aliens would just sit back and enjoy the show. They could even claim it was a tragic, but natural event.
Unfortunately for us, the aliens were attacked by a planet called Earf and their retarded president has decided to retaliate against Earth. Close enough.
They're falling out of the skies like flies.
Hahaha!! That's a funny line. I heard it once in a television show 20 or 30 years ago, where some UFO investigators were asking a hillbilly if he had seen anything unusual in the sky, like a flying saucer. He gave them the laconic answer, "They're falling out of the skies like flies," as if it were a daily occurrence, nothing special at all.
Tenpoundbass
2016 Mar 4, 3:49pm
Way too much inconsistency for extra terrestrial. If you were to believe every story there are just to much Alien diversity. It would seem the only greater than the innovation in their technology. The alien life forms so diverse from hapless intelligent slime, to monsters, to various body types and sizes. The space ships are too varied and assorted. Nobody has never described the same spaceship. No pictures have never been the same. Unless it was mass sighting of lights. Which come on, we're a civilization that can fly lights in a triangle formation.
Why is all of this technology, civilizations, and beings coming all this way and not doing more than being a nuance for a few?
If we were to believe every UFO story, then there would be no way these Space crafts could just hide. Oh behind the dark side of the moon.
Heraclitusstudent
2016 Mar 4, 5:00pm
1) Some alien virus will be introduced that kills the whole human race rapidly. Our infrastructure and wealth would be there for the aliens to take over without firing a shot.
2) Something will happen to fry all of our electronics. All of our weapons will be neutralized.Vast social unrest will follow as people realize they have to live without electricity and all the toys that they are used to. (During the Cold War the Russians had six high-yield nuclear weapons designed to be detonated high above the US. The electromagnetic pulse that followed would fry all electronic devices and rapidly bring the US to its knees.) We would be reduced to almost a Stone Age existence and easy to control.
Nah....
(3) Two of them would take over the bodies of presidential candidates of the establishment, 1 democrat and 1 republican, and we would have to vote for 1 of them. It would proceed to ruin the country, let our infrastructures crumble, start wars for no good reasons, reduce education to nonsense, until civilization crumbles, vast social unrest ensues, and we are reduced to a Stone Age existence and easy to control.
Argh... it all suddenly makes sense ....
HydroCabron
2016 Mar 4, 8:36pm
(4) Liberals would ban killing or resisting the aliens, calling people who oppose the aliens "racists". Masses of Latina women's studies majors would march in the streets, demanding welfare benefits for the aliens, and that white Americans be forced to give their jobs to the aliens, who can build cheaper consumer goods for the elites (Streisand, Rob Reiner, Chuck Schumer and Rosie O'Donnell), who will benefit from inexpensive latte and arugula.
Once all the white workers are replaced with space aliens, Hollywood will sponsor a "Kill Whitey Month" to brainwash Americans to hunt down non-atheist whites, offing them on sight. All churches will be repurposed as abortion clinics, and kept open 24/7. Any jobs left will be outsourced to the aliens' home planet.
All the statues of the founding fathers will be repainted the color of alien flesh, and American history books rewritten to blame whites for everything.
Rosie and Barbra Streisand will sing "We love Alien culture" on the National Mall and then shit on a huge pile of American flags.
Finally, any American citizens left alive who have ever worked for a living will be rounded up, forced to sign a manifesto affirming global warming - with the blood of the baby Jesus as ink - and then fed to the aliens as punishment for being KKK members.
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I have been a fan of science fiction since the summer of 1956 (58 years ago).My dad took my sister and I to the Majestic theater in downtown Houston. We watched with great fascination the classic science fiction film Earth Vs. The Flying Saucers. Since then I have seen countless movies and television shows about aliens invading our planet. For all of that time I just assumed that a big invasion armada would appear in the skies above our planet. We would have to fight a ferocious battle for the survival of humanity. Then two nights ago I was watching an elaborate show on Netflix. It was a war game with the ex-head of the British Ministry of Defense. It went on for 90 minutes with all sorts of ideas to fight aliens with superior technology and fire power.
Suddenly a light came on inside my brain. With the massive distances between stars it might not be economically feasible even for a very technologically advance alien society to send a huge armada to invade earth. When and if we get a visit from another civilization, I suspect it will be one ship that goes into orbit above our planet. There is a 50% possibility that the visit will be a peaceful one with no sinister ulterior motives. On the other hand there is a 50% probability that the visit will have very evil intentions. If the bad guys park in orbit above us, one of two things will happen as follows:
1) Some alien virus will be introduced that kills the whole human race rapidly. Our infrastructure and wealth would be there for the aliens to take over without firing a shot.
2) Something will happen to fry all of our electronics. All of our weapons will be neutralized.Vast social unrest will follow as people realize they have to live without electricity and all the toys that they are used to. (During the Cold War the Russians had six high-yield nuclear weapons designed to be detonated high above the US. The electromagnetic pulse that followed would fry all electronic devices and rapidly bring the US to its knees.) We would be reduced to almost a Stone Age existence and easy to control.