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Don't eat at Chipolte ya'll


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2014 Jun 28, 9:56am   10,550 views  42 comments

by Tenpoundbass   ➕follow (7)   💰tip   ignore  

The president sneezed on the food.

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18   rufita11   2014 Jun 29, 9:04am  

komputodo says

Would be even better if you took the time to cook real food at home.

Seriously, komputo. Did you even read my whole post? Some dudes love the idea of ordering food--it's like an ingrained behavior. Better 2 or three meals per week at a place like Chipotle or Cactus (in Berkeley) than Taco Hell any time. I fix (sometimes heating is not involved) 99.9 percent of meals from whole ingredients, but that man of mine just loves Chipotle--really, really loves it.

19   Homeboy   2014 Jun 29, 9:30am  

Strategist says

substitute

rice -- Brown rice

Pinto bean -- Black beans

cheese -- easy on the cheese

sour cream -- Say no thank you

chips -- Say no thank you

meat - grilled veggies.

You forgot the coke - Just take water, cheaper.

Already covered this. You don't think they have water at Taco Bell? C'mon, give me a fucking break. ANY restaurant will leave off ingredients or make substitutions if you ask them, so your argument doesn't fly. Chipotle is better because they do something EVERYONE does? I don't get it. They're conning you, man - and you're falling for it, hook, line, and sinker.

Strategist says

Now you start eating healthy.

Har.

Strategist says

Taco Bell is all processed garbage

I agree. So is Chipotle.

21   Strategist   2014 Jun 29, 10:53am  

rufita11 says

komputodo says

Would be even better if you took the time to cook real food at home.

Seriously, komputo. Did you even read my whole post? Some dudes love the idea of ordering food--it's like an ingrained behavior. Better 2 or three meals per week at a place like Chipotle or Cactus (in Berkeley) than Taco Hell any time. I fix (sometimes heating is not involved) 99.9 percent of meals from whole ingredients, but that man of mine just loves Chipotle--really, really loves it.

If he loves Chipotle he might go crazy for the new concept popping up for pizza. It's just like Chipotle, but for pizza. For $8.00 you get a medium thin pizza with any toppings you want, as much as you want, make it your way.
Pieology, Blaze pizza and some others. They are popping everywhere and the lines are long. Pizza Hut, Dominos and Papa John are in trouble.
This concept is a runaway success.

22   HydroCabron   2014 Jun 29, 1:02pm  

Anyone else enjoying the spelling of "Chipotle" in the title?

Time for another wingnut rant about liberals ruining our kids' reading comprehension.

23   Strategist   2014 Jun 29, 2:08pm  

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

It's not Mexican food.

It's not food.

It's all fucking sewerage.

Oh God.....I think I'll have Italian tomorrow.

24   HydroCabron   2014 Jun 29, 2:18pm  

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

people sit on the edge of the meat pot and take a shit while they flick cigar ashes into the meat.

It's not Mexican food.

It's not food.

It's all fucking sewerage.

It's fucking hard pinching off loaves into the beans and spraying diarrhea into the nameless brown muck used to fill tacos and burritos.

Peristalsis does not happen on command. And the steam rising from the pots can scald the hell out of your ass.

Have you no respect for the working man?

Mike Rowe should do a Dirty Jobs episode on this: eating a mixture of deviled eggs, Brussels sprouts, extra-greasy pizza, plus bags and bags of Lays barbecue chips, and then cascading rivers of molten, barely-solid waste into pot after pot of Shitpotle goodness.

Then Mike running around the restaurant, smearing shit mustaches -
the Dirty Sanchez - on the customers, plus Mike Row happy meals of brown nuggets in diarrhea sauce. Establishing shots of the restaurant would show faceless silhouettes of shit-caked customers through windows running with brown liquid, repeatedly splashed yet again by overspray from Mike's nozzle as he looses yet another eruption of liquid ooze into the pot.

Special guests Bush II, Victor Ashe, Nancy Reagan, and Sinatra's dessicated corpse descend on the establishment, trading every manner of bodily fluids, plus unspeakable coprophagous transgressions, fisting of hirsute lesbians, the rusty trombone (Frank on Nancy), vomit swapping, and kissing and hugging.

Finally, the giant flailing orgiastic mass of undifferentiated perversion trembles toward climax, and, in an act known to anyone in the hemisphere with a seismograph, moans and thrashes to a horrifying simultaneous climax of anal pleasure and liquid defecation, the resultant geyser of fecal matter destroying all structures within 10 statute miles. Shitgasm 2014.

Nothing remains but a quivering pile of undistinguishable brown forms, save The Oprah, whose location can be discerned by the still-trembling limbs of dead congressmen dangling from her massive maw.

Or something similar to that - you'll have to fill in the details.

25   Homeboy   2014 Jun 29, 5:35pm  

komputodo says

When i think of good mexican food, I always imagine a guy like that making it.

Yep, Mexican people are probably busting a gut laughing at the gringo who puts white rice on his burritos.

26   carrieon   2014 Jun 29, 6:21pm  

mmmarvel says

Ate there once, didn't impress me all that much, haven't been back since.

OMG. I had the exact same response. It's not even close to a "real" Mexican restaurant.

27   FuckTheMainstreamMedia   2014 Jun 30, 12:23am  

Homeboy says

komputodo says

When i think of good mexican food, I always imagine a guy like that making it.

Yep, Mexican people are probably busting a gut laughing at the gringo who puts white rice on his burritos.

You spout off like an expert.

Funny how I know a whole lot of Mexicans, yes people who immigrated from Mexico, who like Chipotle...and other gringo establishments like El Cholo as well.

La Parilla is good sometimes, but I guess people like variety too.

28   monkframe   2014 Jun 30, 12:54am  

My wife and I were unfortunate enough to have not had a big enough breakfast before shopping in the city one Sunday, and we decided to eat at Chipotle in a food court in the city.

It was some of the worst, tasteless, bland food we've had in some time. They are a total disgrace to the tradition of Mexican cuisine.

Our local taqueria is like Fleur de Lys, or Masa's, in comparison.

29   Tenpoundbass   2014 Jun 30, 1:04am  

Homeboy says

Yep, Mexican people are probably busting a gut laughing at the gringo who puts white rice on his burritos.

I never heard of rice on a Burrito until about 20 years ago when I was working on the construction of a Nuclear power plant in NC. I forgot my lunch one day, and a Mexican guy offered me an extra burrito he had.
It had rice and beans on it and that was all.

Not slamming those nice Mexican folks, or defending the crap that is Shitpoltice.

Still being a clueless youngster my self, it didn't look like Taco Bell so I didn't want it.

I remember being grossed out by the rice on it.

Look Beans and Rice is not a Gringo invention.
Peru has a dish that's as old as the Incas that called Tacu Tacu, (sounds like a Little Caesars taco special... Taco Taco).

What is it? Re-fried beans and rice, here in the South we call that Hoppin' John.

There's also a Peruvian Chicken in tomato sauce served over spaghetti.
Growing up my Mom made it and called Chicken Fricassee.

30   NDrLoR   2014 Jun 30, 2:10am  

Strategist says

you get to build it with fresh, local ingredients. In fact, Chipolte won high marks for its commitment to organics, hormone- and antibiotic-free meats, and produce sourced from local suppliers, which is revolutionary in a chain this big. Many of its entrées can be low-sodium,

I don't like ideological food, I prefer normal food like chicken friend steak and mashed potatos with cream gravy over both and green beans.

31   Tenpoundbass   2014 Jun 30, 2:12am  

Our retail laws protect the profits of the filthy rich.

In Lima Peru, and I imagine in most places in the world, every neighborhood has several bodegas. I would love that here in my neighborhood...

need a six pack of beer walk across the street and rap on the iron gate of your neighbors door. Even at 3 am long after the blue laws says no beer sales.

Need an Onion or a couple of Eggs to finish making breakfast, the neighbor down the street.

Talk about saving gas, we only needed to go to the store, to buy meats or things that were beyond what those bodegas carried.

Back in 2002 my BIL from NY and I, emptied every beer from every bordega with in a 5 block radius.(Buying beer for a two day house party).

By Sunday the Beer truck was rolling through the neighborhood making stops at all of the bodegas.

Mike said... "They done called beer wagon on us!"

32   Ceffer   2014 Jun 30, 3:41am  

Add uranium and you have the recipe for a human dirty bomb.

33   Homeboy   2014 Jun 30, 4:29am  

CaptainShuddup says

Look Beans and Rice is not a Gringo invention.

Wow, miss the point much?

Chipotle puts WHITE rice on their burritos.

Show me a SINGLE restaurant run by actual Mexican people, in the entire world, that puts WHITE rice on a burrito. Try to keep up, o.k. Captain?

34   Strategist   2014 Jun 30, 5:15am  

Homeboy says

CaptainShuddup says

Look Beans and Rice is not a Gringo invention.

Wow, miss the point much?

Chipotle puts WHITE rice on their burritos.

Show me a SINGLE restaurant run by actual Mexican people, in the entire world, that puts WHITE rice on a burrito. Try to keep up, o.k. Captain?

Chipotle is not authentic Mexican food. Neither is Taco Bell, Del Taco, El Torito and other popular Mexican chains. But I don't want authentic Mexican food. Every time I have tried it at mom and pop Mexican restaurants I hated it, it was awful. I want Americanized Mexican food.

35   CL   2014 Jun 30, 7:28am  

komputodo says

dodgerfanjohn says

Funny how I know a whole lot of Mexicans, yes people who immigrated from Mexico, who like Chipotle...and other gringo establishments like El Cholo as well.

I think I'm finally starting to understand your sense of humor...GOOD ONE!

He didn't say that they had previously immigrated to Mexico from ...Ireland.

36   Tenpoundbass   2014 Jun 30, 8:30am  

Homeboy says

Show me a SINGLE restaurant run by actual Mexican people, in the entire world, that puts WHITE rice on a burrito. Try to keep up, o.k. Captain?

You try to keep up Shitooth, I said I was once given burritos(Flour tortilla by any other definition) stuffed with rice and beans by a nice Mexican fellow on a nuke power job site.

37   Tenpoundbass   2014 Jun 30, 8:32am  

Mover over I would say that if any authentic Mexican place did serve rice and bean burritos, they would use that crappy converted rice too.

Around here, Peruvian restaurants are the only "authentic" Latin food places that don't skimp and use converted rice.

38   rufita11   2014 Jun 30, 10:07am  

Strategist says

If he loves Chipotle he might go crazy for the new concept popping up for pizza.

Didn't Kramer have that idea? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lOG3rD5CrQ

39   Homeboy   2014 Jun 30, 1:15pm  

CaptainShuddup says

You try to keep up Shitooth, I said I was once given burritos(Flour tortilla by any other definition) stuffed with rice and beans by a nice Mexican fellow on a nuke power job site.

O.K., grandpa - story time's over now. Time to go back to the home.

40   Homeboy   2014 Jun 30, 1:20pm  

Strategist says

But I don't want authentic Mexican food. Every time I have tried it at mom and pop Mexican restaurants I hated it, it was awful. I want Americanized Mexican food.

What's the matter? Did all that FLAVOR make you scared? Here's something you might enjoy:

Oh, it doesn't have white rice, though. Maybe not quite bland enough for you.

41   Strategist   2014 Jun 30, 1:36pm  

Homeboy says

Strategist says

But I don't want authentic Mexican food. Every time I have tried it at mom and pop Mexican restaurants I hated it, it was awful. I want Americanized Mexican food.

What's the matter? Did all that FLAVOR make you scared? Here's something you might enjoy:

Oh, it doesn't have white rice, though. Maybe not quite bland enough for you.

That's worse then Taco Bell.
I don't eat frozen.

42   Homeboy   2014 Jun 30, 4:39pm  

komputodo says

That's a Fiesta in your mouth!!!

And later it's a fiesta in your ass.

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