patrick.net

A civilization that could travel between stars would likely be a 1000 years or so ahead of us technically and scientifically. Their technology would seem like magic to us. It's also possible that advanced civilizations use their the technology to destroy themselves (as we are doing now) thus never making it away from their home star system.

The problem I have with all of the Alien talk, is there's just too damn many sizes, shapes and varieties.
To hear the tinfoil hat crowd tell it, we're just a truck stop off the intergalactic freeway.

If this is all true, then what in the hell are they wasting their time, coming here to anal probe Kooter and his Cow?

How in the hell can they come all this way and not stop at Lester's Diner?

I want to believe I really do, it would be so cool. But I can't justify for any reason, why Aliens would come here and behave as those who have either sighted UFOs or been abducted by Aliens claim.

Or at least, what reason would they have to bring them back, after they abducted them?

These stories feed into our human primal fears of the unknown.

I don't think an intelligent Alien civilization would come all this way just to fuck with our heads.

I bet the ratio of gases in the air would create some toxicity. Even humans/mammals from different earth periods would have difficulty in other era's Aliens derived from a totally different terrestrial environment would need some sort of apparatus to modify our gases to fit their own physiological requirements.

So in that regard, they would have to protect their mucosal membranes from our environment, making the viral spread minimal. Also it would be a crap shoot whether we would infect them as much as they would infect us. Such an advanced species may have a way to minimize microbiological illnesses and prevent all that. I would assume it would have come up in their history, and in all the situations of planets they visited.

It's also naiive to believe they would be able to deal with our gravity ratio. They may need special suits to modify it, or at least special fields to augment it for them to either deal with gravity being too light, or too heavy. I would assume that they would no longer be raised on thier home planet (rather in generations on a ship of some sort) so thier gravity expectations would be different.

Much like Jesus, who would be arrested within hours after his return, the aliens would be greeted by bullets and hysteria.

ohomen171 says

1) Some alien virus will be introduced that kills the whole human race rapidly. Our infrastructure and wealth would be there for the aliens to take over without firing a shot.

Unless panspermia is real, and there are similar life forms scattered throughout the galaxy with common roots, the chances of them having a virus to deliver to us are virtually zero. I'm no biologist, but the New World colonization virus problem from the 16th century was specific to a single species, segments of which had been isolated from one another for mere thousands of years.

Completely alien life forms, even if related to us from way back (hundreds of millions of years?), would have no pathogens in common with us, nor no idea how to construct them, unless Roswell was real - not likely.

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Gatling guns will never be more precious.

That depends, are the aliens gay and do they excrete platinum?

CaptainShuddup says

The problem I have with all of the Alien talk, is there's just too damn many sizes, shapes and varieties.

Yep! Just look at all the crazy lifeforms we have right here on earth. And we share most of our genes with them.

Alien life may have a completely different way to store genetic information. They may use a completely different set of nucleotides, these nucleotides may code fora completely different set of amino acids or they may use something else entirely. Aliens will have evolved on a different planet with different seasons, tides, gravity, solar radiance, etc. Lots of variables there.

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

I know extraterrestrials would seek out and assfuck Oprah.

Aliens may not have any appendages to use for that.

Of course if they were creative enough to travel here I'm sure they can figure SOMETHING out.

HuggyBumbers McLovkins says

Much like Jesus, who would be arrested within hours after his return, the aliens would be greeted by bullets and hysteria.

The Minutemen would have a field day!
HuggyBumbers McLovkins says

Completely alien life forms, even if related to us from way back (hundreds of millions of years?), would have no pathogens in common with us, nor no idea how to construct them, unless Roswell was real - not likely.

Not necessarily. Bacteria billions of years removed from our common ancestry are quite capable of killing us.

A Realtard would get them to sign a buyer agency agreement?

New Renter says

CaptainShuddup says

The problem I have with all of the Alien talk, is there's just too damn many sizes, shapes and varieties.

Yep! Just look at all the crazy lifeforms we have right here on earth. And we share most of our genes with them.

Alien life may have a completely different way to store genetic information. They may use a completely different set of nucleotides, these nucleotides may code fora completely different set of amino acids or they may use something else entirely. Aliens will have evolved on a different planet with different seasons, tides, gravity, solar radiance, etc. Lots of variables there.

Yeah, I don't doubt that, but they're ALL coming here and none bother to disturb us or make their presence known?
What about these different species, are they friendly to each other, is this a cooperative effort between the planets?

If we're being visited by Aliens it's a huge waste of time, money and resources, and therefore I deduce that Aliens are Liberals.
And somewhere in the Universe, on their planet back home, some GOP Aliens are doing all they can to cut their wasteful funding, to Joyride through the Cosmos.

One of two things would happen? I'm thankful we have you to consider the possibilities and let us know the options.

You could prepare for the coming influx of aliens by shutting off all of your electronics. We would all benefit if you did.

CaptainShuddup says

but they're ALL coming here and none bother to disturb us or make their presence known?

That would depend on how they could make their presence known.

Consider SETI. Those guys spend all day listening for radio signal from distant civilizations - most likely originating from extraterrestrial planets (as opposed to interstellar space ships).

Now consider at our current state of technology how we detect those interstellar planets. In most cases we look at the wobble of the parent star or the faint dimming of the star as the planet passes between. We use these indirect methods because in most cases we can't even detect THE ENTIRE #$% PLANET directly! And these are just looking at our nearst interstellar neighbors.

Planets are bright objects compared to the inky black of space; we have no problem seeing most of the planets in our solar system with our naked eyes; however next to the glare of a star they are washed out. If we can't expect to see the reflection of an ENTIRE PLANET how can we expect to pick out a miniscule radio signal against the noisy background of a star?

Sure there are modulation techniques to improve the signal to noise but we have no idea what technique the aliens may be using. Without that knowledge we have little hope of recognizing an alien broadcast.

indigenous says

One question though, for them to come here I would assume it would take a very long time, (the universe isn't as small as it once was) and a very long time to get back, what is in it for them?

I am sure the aliens have figured out how to quickly and efficiently travel:

("CNN) -- Thanks to a NASA physicist, the notion of warp speed might just travel out of sci-fi and into the real world.

NASA's Harold White has been working since 2010 to develop a warp drive that will allow spacecraft to travel at speeds faster than light -- 186,000 miles per second.

White, who heads NASA's Advanced Propulsion Team, spoke about his conceptual starship at a conference last fall. But interest in his project reached a new level this week when he unveiled images of what the craft might look like…

...He discussed the idea of a "space warp," a loophole in the theory of general relativity that would allow for massive distances to be traveled very quickly, reducing travel times from thousands of years to days.

In his speech, White described space warps as faraway galaxies that can bend light around them. They work on the principle of bending space both in front of and behind a spacecraft. This would essentially allow for the empty space behind the craft to expand, both pushing and pulling it forward at the same time. The concept is similar to that of an escalator or moving walkway...

...The warp drive that White's team has been working on would literally transcend space, shortening the distance between two points and allowing the craft to break the speed of light. This would be a spaceship with no speed limit."

http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/12/tech/innovation/warp-speed-spaceship/

Indiana Jones says

I am sure the aliens have figured out how to quickly and efficiently travel:

When should we expect the Vulcans, now that we have discovered warp?

I need a picture of how that might work.

SETI is way off base. Unless the radio signal is a significant fraction of a star's strength, it wouldn't get here from even our closest neighbors. Hell, even sending a signal from the outer planets takes a huge amount of juice.
If we want to detect alien communications, we need to develop a new form of communication, maybe quantum or Planck-space methods that would send information instantaneously around the universe. Then we'd have a shot at talking to the ETs who got there first.

New Renter says

we have no idea what technique the aliens may be using. Without that knowledge we have little hope of recognizing an alien broadcast.

Didn't you all see the movie Contact with Jodie Foster? In this movie they taught us that SETI is useless, the aliens are far advanced in communication techniques, and that we don't have to get into a spaceship to have "contact".

If SETI were going to have "contact", you'd think at this point it'd have already happened. Besides being a front or cover story, I can't think of why they are still trying to contact aliens by "radio".

It's very arrogant to assume that alien intelligence will visit us and want to attack us. Whatever for? Why would you potentially enter a fight over some resources that are entirely typical all over the galaxy? If you want minerals, gold, water, whatever, you can get all that easily from any solar system and from asteroids, no need to go too far. In order to travel between the stars, you need such a high level of technology and productivity, that maybe civilizations which reach this point aren't the galactic scourge sort we see in sci-fi films.

The Drake equation guesstimates that there are many planets with life, and even many with intelligence (http://www.gizmag.com/extraterrestrial-life-milky-way/32476/)

Also, read about the Fermi Paradox and the Great Filter. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/the-fermi-paradox_b_5489415.html)

myob says

It's very arrogant to assume that alien intelligence will visit us and want to attack us. Whatever for? Why would you potentially enter a fight over some resources that are entirely typical all over the galaxy? If you want minerals, gold, water, whatever, you can get all that easily from any solar system and from asteroids, no need to go too far. In order to travel between the stars, you need such a high level of technology and productivity, that maybe civilizations which reach this point aren't the galactic scourge sort we see in sci-fi films.

The Drake equation guesstimates that there are many planets with life, and even many with intelligence (http://www.gizmag.com/extraterrestrial-life-milky-way/32476/)

Also, read about the Fermi Paradox and the Great Filter. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/the-fermi-paradox_b_5489415.html)

Why would technologically advanced aliens want to visit us? You may as well ask why scientists study bacteria and slime molds. Even we can learn quite a bit from the simplest life forms the earth has to offer.

As for natural resources its possible what we consider precious and worth killing each other for is just trash to ET.

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/a-planet-made-of-diamond-twice-the-size-of-earth/blogEntry?id=17454471

http://www.cnbc.com/id/101217571

Quigley says

SETI is way off base. Unless the radio signal is a significant fraction of a star's strength, it wouldn't get here from even our closest neighbors. Hell, even sending a signal from the outer planets takes a huge amount of juice.

Actually that is not true. The voyager probes only broadcast 23 watts and we can hear them just fine:

http://science.howstuffworks.com/question431.htm

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Put Oprah on top of the Goodyear blimp, face down with her ass all greased up with transmission fluid in the middle of the day. When the sun hits her ass, trillions of extraterrestrials will get tentacle stiffies and warp out to get here and bum blast the shit out of her.

Coming up next, a very special episode of Maury!

New Renter says

Why would technologically advanced aliens want to visit us?

Note, that I said why would they attack us, in response to the original post. Visting for science makes absolute sense. We're searching for extraterrestial life just to find it too.

myob says

New Renter says

Why would technologically advanced aliens want to visit us?

Note, that I said why would they attack us, in response to the original post. Visting for science makes absolute sense. We're searching for extraterrestial life just to find it too.

Sorry, my bad.

Of course they may attack us anyway for many reasons. Look at us, we are arguably the most advanced species on the planet by far and what do we do with that capability? All it takes is one alien kid with a giant magnifying glass and its goodnight Gracie!

http://www.dailytech.com/Stephen+Hawking+Says+Aliens+Probably+Out+There+Will+Want+to+Conquer+Us/article18222.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Forever_War

Links to enjoy while waiting for the arrival of our alien (or robot) overlords.

komputodo says

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Put Oprah on top of the Goodyear blimp, face down with her ass all greased up with transmission fluid in the middle of the day. When the sun hits her ass, trillions of extraterrestrials will get tentacle stiffies and warp out to get here and bum blast the shit out of her.

LOL.....any specific reason for tranny fluid?

Plus the smell!

http://www.petroleumhistory.org/OilHistory/pages/Whale/oil_uses.html

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

rillions of extraterrestrials will get tentacle stiffies and warp out to get here and bum blast the shit out of her.

It would be like King Kong on the Empire State building, with UFO's firing on Oprah Butt and each other to gain access.

She might twerk de-tentacle them, though, and force them to destroy the planet.

Why are you disparaging Oprah? She was gonna give us all cars - you get a car, you get a car, EVERYBODY GETS A CAR! Except we don't....

And you Apolcalyspefucked it. I hope you're happy.

Might be visited?

Happens all the time, man. They're falling out of the skies like flies. Chariots of the Gods, man. They practically own South America. I mean, they taught the Incas everything they know.

elliemae says

And you Apolcalyspefucked it. I hope you're happy.

Oprah is so powerful, she can capture anti gravity technology with her blockbuster butt. Then, we all get UFOs instead of crappy, dirty cars.

She knows how those aliens can't resist butt.

There are signs in space directing aliens to earth. All the signs say,ZOO.

We'd have a sale on terrestials....

ohomen171 says

What Would Really Happen If Earth Were Visited By Extraterrestials

This is a vast conspiracy to ripoff DirecTV and distribute to all congressmen..

Indiana Jones says

If SETI were going to have "contact", you'd think at this point it'd have already happened. Besides being a front or cover story, I can't think of why they are still trying to contact aliens by "radio".

oops...wrong image....

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

I know extraterrestrials would seek out and assfuck Oprah.

Obligatory:

Obligatory:

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Ceffer says

elliemae says

And you Apolcalyspefucked it. I hope you're happy.

Oprah is so powerful, she can capture anti gravity technology with her blockbuster butt. Then, we all get UFOs instead of crappy, dirty cars.

She knows how those aliens can't resist butt.

Her butt is so IMMENSE it creates its own gravity!

All butts generate their own gravity.

While all butts do have a black hole it takes a very special butt to generate a singularity.

Man, I'd hate to see the crack in that event horizon!

Obligatory:

zzyzzx says

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

I know extraterrestrials would seek out and assfuck Oprah.

Obligatory:

I drove through Baker, CA last weekend and I was led to believe the aliens would make jerky of them first!

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Oprah better worry about the BUM BITING ALIENS from outer space who react in savage lust to the gleam of her ass when she floating around on the Goodyear Blimp.

Because they are coming!

Can the Goodyear blimp handle that?

I think your plan woudl take a Zeppelin. A Zeppelin filled with more buoyant hydrogen.

As an added bonus the Zeppelin woudl double as a grill.

New Renter says

All butts generate their own gravity.

While all butts do have a black hole it takes a very special butt to generate a singularity.

Man, I'd hate to see the crack in that event horizon!

This is why, as AF has pointed out so adroitly, that the term "Massive Hirsute Lesbian" is incorrect, whereas "Immense Hirsute Lesbian" is appropriate.

It is possible for a hirsute lesbian to be microscopic, like a lesbian black hole, and still be massive, while immense suggests both large size as well as inertia.

ohomen171 says

What Would Really Happen If Earth Were Visited By Extraterrestials

ohomen171 says

What Would Really Happen If Earth Were Visited By Extraterrestials

They would just nuke us from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Drop a few thousand neutron bombs. Irradiate all life. Humans are gone within days if not hours. All infrastructure is left untouched.

Send in robots to take control of all facilities and maintain them, producing any economic output desired. Wait a few hundred years before colonizing and the radiation is gone. Meanwhile, robots can terraform the plant and build colonies.

We would not even know about the existence of the aliens until the bombardment of neutron bombs.