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Eman
2014 Oct 7, 9:43am
On The Fence,
You over-think this. It's not about you. Your FIL is just being respectful by asking you. The reason he is willing to foot the mortgage payments because he wants a better place for his daughter and grand daughter. Eventually, the money will belong to his daughter and grand daughter anyways.
Since he's footing the bill, he still has total control of the property. However, I would ask him to add your wife's name on the Grant Deed so she can write off the MID and property tax. That should save you guys thousands each year.
Saving $1,500/month won't get you anywhere in the Bay Area. If you're going to borrow his money for the down payment, how are you going to afford a $1M home with your salary and your savings? There is no way you can pay him back with those numbers.
I don't understand the 5-10 years comment. He will be paying the mortgage for the first 5-10 years?
My take: take the offer, but the proper arrangement would be that you and your wife own the house (he gifts it to you). The best would be if he could buy it outright and have mortgage where you owe him (not bank) money for the say 2/3 of the payments (11-30) years, starting to be payable in 10 years (say).
It however probably makes sense to borrow the money from the bank, since the money is cheap now. I believe you and your wife can be owners, but your FIL and you can be put on the mortgage and/or promissory note.
In any case I believe there is a viable legal arrangement, where you own the house, but only owe a portion of the borrowed money to the bank.
It is perfectly normal and expected in many cultures that parents help their children to have easier start in life and there is nothing wrong with that IMO. The pride is sorta silly - part of what makes Americans such a good corporate slaves.
Shaman
2014 Oct 8, 3:31am
Have you considered Austin? Tech is booming there and you could afford a home on your own. The local culture is fairly multicultural and a mixed couple would fit right in. I've been considering that city for the same reasons.
Have you considered Austin?
Austin is very expensive, by Texas standards, to live. Compared to CA it's still a bargain - just saying from this Texan's view.
Quigley said: Have you considered Austin?
Out of the frying pan and into the fire? According to Trulia: The most overvalued market is now Austin, at 19%, followed by the California metros of Los Angeles, Orange County, San Francisco, and Riverside-San Bernardino.
Do men generally get along with their father-in-laws?
Not unless the son-in-law is awesome to the nth degree. I have two daughters, one is married to a soldier, which brings him up to about a C in my book. He is okay, but needs to be bettering himself. In my book, she could have done better.
My other daughter is hooked up with slime. Some of his background has been revealed to me and in my book it's not good. He rates a F minus, minus, minus. And I KNOW that that girl could have done better.
Remember, a man's daughter (to most of us) is our princess. She might do some wrong, but can easily make up for it. The man who wins her had better be able to make me smile and have pride in him. I'm the standard and he better be able to meet or surpass me - which isn't easy.
OnTheFence
2014 Oct 8, 9:19am
I don't understand the 5-10 years comment. He will be paying the mortgage for the first 5-10 years?
The 5-10 year bit comes from me saying that I'm not confident that I want to stay in the SFBA in the long term. The plan has always been save a bunch of money while we are here, build a career, and then move to S.Cal for the weather, family, and good job prospects to further our careers.
OnTheFence
2014 Oct 8, 9:20am
Quigley said: Have you considered Austin?
Out of the frying pan and into the fire? According to Trulia: The most overvalued market is now Austin, at 19%, followed by the California metros of Los Angeles, Orange County, San Francisco, and Riverside-San Bernardino.
No not seriously. Neither of our family are there so that would be a massive negative.
Re: 45 minutes later, he left with his head spinning...
Hey callitcrazy, longtime lurker here and I thought I knew who you were, but due to this story, now I'm sure of it.
By buddy married your daughter and repeatedly told me of that 45 minute conversation. Want to know how he got back at you? Well, one day when he was done mouthfucking your little girl he sprayed a massive load on her face. Then, as some sort of roleplaying game they were into he used a spoon from YOUR KITCHEN to scoop it up and feed it to her.
He held onto that spoon, wiped it up just enough to appear clean, then swapped it out at your seat at the dinner table when no one was looking. Later, he saw you scoop a bite, draw it into your mouth, and he just sat back and smiled. And to think, you just thought your wife's soup was just a little "salty" that day :)
turtledove
2014 Oct 8, 9:50am
Re: 45 minutes later, he left with his head spinning...
Hey callitcrazy, longtime lurker here and I thought I knew who you were, but due to this story, now I'm sure of it.
By buddy married your daughter and repeatedly told me of that 45 minute conversation. Want to know how he got back at you? Well, one day when he was done mouthfucking your little girl he sprayed a massive load on her face. Then, as some sort of roleplaying game they were into he used a spoon from YOUR KITCHEN to scoop it up and feed it to her.
He held onto that spoon, wiped it up just enough to appear clean, then swapped it out at your seat at the dinner table when no one was looking. Later, he saw you scoop a bite, draw it into your mouth, and he just sat back and smiled. And to think, you just thought your wife's soup was just a little "salty" that day :)
Creepy; stalker-like; rude; and foul-mouthed.... Surely you aren't single!
« First « Previous Comments 47 - 58 of 58 Search these comments
Hi,
My Father in law made me an offer to find a home in an area with good schools that will be something we can live in 5-10 years. He would take care of the purchase price and payments, we would be on the hook for utilities and maintenance.
First off, this is an incredibly generous offer, so I'm thankful for this. A bit about our situation:
-1 year old daughter (the reason for the offer)
-Currently in a large 1 bedroom apartment in Inner Richmond (94118)
-$1,200 / M in cost, with very small electric cost, no water, no garbage bill
-We've been saving for a while, and we wanted to buy in the next few years, possibly in S.Cal if everything works according to plan.
I said thank you and would look into it, but I have a couple of thoughts that creep up in my head.
1. We should be able to save money every month assuming there are no major repairs on the horizon that we'd be responsible for.
2. If we choose an area with a great public school system we will save money on a private school (which we would strongly consider in the our area)
3. If we wanted to move to S.Cal and the market starts to dip, would I really be free to move without my father in law either taking a hit?
4. I've always heard to not mix family and money, and I never have. Anyone have experience with something like this that ended up turning into a "wish we never would have" scenarios.
5. I could be letting my pride get in the way of a good family decision, am I?
6. I'm saving 1,500 a month by staying in this apartment, do I really need to risk introducing a scenario where I feel I now "owe" this man something.....again, this could be Pride kicking my butt.
Thanks,
SF