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Reference material for my loss of interest in dating women thread
invite response
2014 Jul 16, 3:43am 66,383 views 168 comments
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The Original Bankster
2014 Jul 18, 11:45am
I met a guy once in prague who got a job out of college for a gold mine. He made something like 250k usd/ year and he had something like 2 months paid vacation/year + a free round tirp plane ticket to anywhere in the world.
There was absolutely nothing in the world that could thrill this guy. He flat out would tell anyone that he would never imagine marrying or even having children. Like anything in life, it's not the fulfillment of desires that make you happy it's the LACK of desire that makes you happy.
I live a pretty simple life. I enjoy it. I enjoy the moment I am in. That's what's important. Some people never learn this and spend their whole lives on a treadmill and never realize that they are basically hamsters chasing after a little pellet of desire. They get that little pellet and then theyre right back on that treadmill for another.
Rin
2014 Jul 18, 11:52am
There was absolutely nothing in the world that could thrill this guy. He flat out would tell anyone that he would never imagine marrying or even having children. Like anything in life, it's not the fulfillment of desires that make you happy it's the LACK of desire that makes you happy.
But perhaps that's taking things a bit far?
I mean I enjoy plenty of activities, when I'm doing them. And thus, when I'd described my perfect Saturday in Montreal City, that was about those activities, and finally, finishing off the night with a hot esc*rt/stripper.
The Original Bankster
2014 Jul 18, 11:56am
There was absolutely nothing in the world that could thrill this guy. He flat out would tell anyone that he would never imagine marrying or even having children. Like anything in life, it's not the fulfillment of desires that make you happy it's the LACK of desire that makes you happy.
But perhaps that's taking things a bit far?
I mean I enjoy plenty of activities, when I'm doing them. And thus, when I'd described my perfect Saturday in Montreal City, that was about those activities, and finally, finishing off the night with a hot esc*rt/stripper.
great! enjoy.
also try reading Siddartha by Herman Hesse.
youre very progressed, youre at the point where you understand it's just sensual pleasure and once you accept that completely then onto the next stage. :)
The Original Bankster
2014 Jul 18, 11:57am
strippers are great btw- I got to strip clubs once in a while. My favorite stripper around here is a mulatto girl with huge tits and extremely powerful legs. She's positively inspiring.
Rin
2014 Jul 18, 12:01pm
strippers are great btw- I got to strip clubs once in a while. My favorite stripper around here is a mulatto girl with huge tits and extremely powerful legs. She's positively inspiring.
You get the picture :-)
Rin
2014 Jul 18, 12:04pm
Time to come clean...make me look good!
Re-read below... Next time, I'm deleting the trolls.
Like I said, once I'd dropped Alanis Morrisette, the Canadian GF, I'd applied the notion that hindsight being 20/20, was a cop out. One should know what they want, in advance, as in forward thinking.
I work for a hedge fund. I'm hounded by women, all of the time. I didn't realize that being a full time BS artist was so attractive. I also practice Martial Arts and stay in excellent shape.
And yes, since I'd crossed that age of innocence, 26-29, the good ones were already settled and what's left are the Alanis Morrisettes, aka damaged goods.
Being emotionally independent, I don't need 'em and at the same time, they find me so attractive (because I don't need 'em), that they ditch other *nice guys* to follow me around. This is almost akin to the "bad" boy syndrome except that I don't take advantage of women, only our clients' funds
----
I'm just adding to the crosspost, reminding SoftShell & others that he was a troll and was on my short list from a while back, before he thought that he could attempt to shame me.
The Original Bankster
2014 Jul 18, 12:05pm
strippers are great btw- I got to strip clubs once in a while. My favorite stripper around here is a mulatto girl with huge tits and extremely powerful legs. She's positively inspiring.
You get the picture :-)
if you actually analyze women's hatred for strippers, it's not that they hate that you are attracted or infatuated with a woman's body- it's that you're cheapening their product. Of course they would never admit this. They want men to value this experience highly, because it's basically all they have to offer- their other tactic is collective bargaining and organizing to FORCE men to do things for them. This also has its limits and the ultimate result is apathy.
The Original Bankster
2014 Jul 18, 12:09pm
And yes, since I'd crossed that age of innocence, 26-29, the good ones were already settled and what's left are the Alanis Morrisettes, aka damaged goods.
I wouldnt think of it that way. I could have marred little Jenny-Sue perfect housewife and virgin but then I would have to be mr. dependable husband with middle-class opinions. There is so much more to life! Why would I want to be stuck in some McMansion shit box with my linkedin profile and my iphone and my mortgage, 2.5 kids,etc.
God I'd much rather have 20 years of excitement over 50 years of drudgery.
I listen to these posts on here- you know why they do it? its their only thrill. They only way they can get a feeling of accomplishment is if they feel their real estate investments somehow made them a winner. Just look at the titles : OAKLAND PRICES SURGE! YOURe ALL WINNERS! it's so pathetic that this is all these people have to look forward to. Most bums have more fun than these nerds.
Rin
2014 Jul 18, 12:11pm
Of course they would never admit this. They want men to value this experience highly, because it's basically all they have to offer- their other tactic is collective bargaining and organizing to FORCE men to do things for them.
I remember a Massachusetts high school, warning the parents about a school trip to Montreal, that there was underaged drinking and strippers up there.
I guess they forgot to mention that you could also have a *private thing* with one and go all the way.
But it was enough of a warning to cause concern among parents.
The Original Bankster
2014 Jul 18, 12:11pm
Enjoy your AIDS
did that make you feel better about your life?
i bet secretly this guy is a crossdresser or something non-standard like that.
The Original Bankster
2014 Jul 18, 12:13pm
I guess they forgot to mention that you could also have a *private thing* with one and go all the way.
But it was enough of a warning to cause concern among parents.
do you know why the parents are concerned? the kid might find out that pleasure is actually not very hard to obtain and you don't have to listen to THE MAN to get it. It's not unlike a fruit you can just pick off a tree.
The Original Bankster
2014 Jul 18, 12:17pm
lets face it, underneath all these stuffy 'real estate investors' is a little kid that just wanted to have fun.
are you having fun?
Rin
2014 Jul 18, 12:17pm
I guess they forgot to mention that you could also have a *private thing* with one and go all the way.
But it was enough of a warning to cause concern among parents.
do you know why the parents are concerned? the kid might find out that pleasure is actually not very hard to obtain and you don't have to listen to THE MAN to get it. It's not unlike a fruit you can just pick off a tree.
That's partly why Montreal is a type of open secret.
I believe, the *code of silence* has prevented the average Bostonian from seeking pleasure, only 5 hours away. There are all these frustrated guys, going to the same club/bars or school type of venues, all of the time, trying to get an ordinary looking chick.
The difference between that and Montreal is practically night and day, yet, almost no one talks about it.
The Original Bankster
2014 Jul 18, 12:21pm
you haven't been to Eastern Europe have you?
it's even more eye opening. Not only can you get your giggities, if you want the whole package ie. breeding unit you can get that too. And the eastern european women are HOT. Basically their options are a) a drunk b) a violent drunk c) a terminal violent drunk.
but yes please everyone on this board please go and stuff a dollar bill down a stipper's g-string for world peace.
Rin
2014 Jul 18, 12:23pm
you haven't been to Eastern Europe have you?
it's even more eye opening. Not only can you get your giggities, if you want the whole package ie. breeding unit you can get that too. And the eastern european women are HOT. Basically their options are a) a drunk b) a violent drunk c) a terminal violent drunk.
but yes please everyone on this board please go and stuff a dollar bill down a stipper's g-string for world peace
No, not eastern Europe, but I'd been to Brazil. And yes, things are most definitely different outside of the USA.
The Original Bankster
2014 Jul 18, 12:27pm
if you go to Brazil and you don't get laid there you are seriously retarded.
I mean if you want to live out every crazy fantasy you've ever had, just go to Brazil. Girls simply have no shame there. Yes Mr. White Man if you want to bonk an 18 year old with an ass so tight you could bounce a quarter off it, YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN BE A WINNER! they really don't care, you can slam a dozen girls no problem. You'll come back from that vacation with a permanent grin on your face.
monkframe
2014 Jul 18, 1:36pm
Your story is more a commentary on the life we live here than your chosen Shangri-La. I feel sorry for the blind-sided wives who bear no blame, but who will constantly ask themselves what they didn't do right. Our society will never tell them.
Rin
2014 Jul 18, 1:53pm
Your story is more a commentary on the life we live here than your chosen Shangri-La.
Just so you know, this is someone else's trip report, not mine.
I'd brought it up to make a point, about alternatives to the way ppl see things.
NDrLoR
2014 Jul 20, 8:15am
And that's where I am today, my mid-30s.
You'd better enjoy them, it sounds like you might not make your 40's.
Rin
2014 Jul 20, 8:17am
Some ppl will say, but aren't you gay, if you don't fall for women? My response is that one is gay, if one doesn't want to bo*nk women.
Tina Turner once said, *What's Love Got To Do With It*
Ceffer
2014 Jul 20, 8:47am
It's a pragmatic approach for a very busy, high productivity long hours working person who has the spare change for the romps and is very, very careful.
However, sex, even with paid female appliances, is always a calculated risk and dangerous on so many levels, the odds eventually have to catch up.
I know men with chronic, painful prostatitis because of basically imbedded infections and inflammation that never clear up because they thought they should be doing everything they see in the pornos. They say that JFK had imbedded painful prostatic chlamydia.
Even using condoms isn't foolproof,since gonorrhea can be spread orally, and all the various and sundry viruses of different people transmitted as well by all kinds of physical contact.
Lots of prominent men have lost their careers, social status and families over sex issues, especially when they become really compulsive about it. Add alcohol,drugs, and blackmail and you have a perfect danger trifecta, like the deceased google executive in Santa Cruz. However, for some the danger is exactly part of the erotic thrill.
I went to a seminar given by a psychiatrist on sex related issues with professional men and he had an incredible array of stories of high achieving, wealthy, prominent men going down in flames over sex issues. Loss of profession, status, lawsuits and prison are not uncommon.
The theory and the practice at some point must diverge, there is rarely any such thing as completely zipless. It's more like you get away with it for a while, and then you don't.
B.A.C.A.H.
2014 Jul 20, 9:49am
I met a guy once in prague who got a job out of college for a gold mine. He made something like 250k usd/ year and he had something like 2 months paid vacation/year + a free round tirp plane ticket to anywhere in the world.
There was absolutely nothing in the world that could thrill this guy. He flat out would tell anyone that he would never imagine marrying or even having children. Like anything in life, it's not the fulfillment of desires that make you happy it's the LACK of desire that makes you happy.
Social Darwinism, self fulfilling.
B.A.C.A.H.
2014 Jul 20, 9:53am
I don't take advantage of women, only our clients' funds
Rin, you ought to be more careful saying things like this.
E is not just for electronic. E is also for evidence.
Rin
2014 Jul 20, 10:35am
drugs, and blackmail and you have a perfect danger trifecta, like the deceased google executive
The Google exec was injecting heroin and he was with an esc*rt in SFBA, where being with a woman in exchange for money was already illegal. I also suspect that he was a newbie, trying to get a new high, whereas the lady was already a smack junkie and thus, the first injection didn't kill her but it took him out. A lot of ppl have died of cocaine and heroin overdoses. His story is nothing unique except for his prominent job.
The thing is that none of this stuff is allowed within the US borders which is why I believe that it quickly runs into this *Wolf of Wall St* excess because of the whole illegality of it all. And then, as these men become more powerful, in terms of finances, they think they can do anything they like.
In Montreal, many of the strippers and esc*rts are college co-eds in the city's various schools. At least 2/3s are French-Canadians. And none of them, ever brought smack into the fold with me, nor did they offer. I'd say that pretty much, wine, and for me, a Martini, were the only substances consumed. This is kinda normal for a European tryst.
Plus, a big part of the experience is a body massage/slide. I enjoy that quite a bit. The other stuff, straight & oral, is always covered up. This is what I believe, being heterosexual is all about, enjoying and fondling a woman's body.
A lot of what you're seeing in these sex related seminars is about this Anglo culture, where ppl are constantly told that sex is immoral, a forbidden fruit (and so forth), and then, getting it becomes a power trip. If it were simply treated as a form of body relaxation and so forth, perhaps some of these persons could take a more balanced approach towards it.
New Renter
2014 Jul 20, 10:46am
However, sex, even with paid female appliances, is always a calculated risk and dangerous on so many levels, the odds eventually have to catch up.
Could be worse - he could be trying his luck with one of these these lovely ladies:
Ceffer
2014 Jul 20, 10:54am
Not saying don't do it, in your position you probably need to and it's practical, but that doesn't mean it is without significant risks close at hand. Careful, very careful.
Don't think you wouldn't get involved with a prostitute, either, because that happens a lot.
I have a long term single acquaintance, a very intelligent man, who tells me stories and close calls that are pretty hair raising, since he has utilized the paid professionals, and he does not drink or use drugs. When the dumb stick speaks, the brains and judgment go out the window, and the predatory types know this best of all.
A lot of what you're seeing in these sex related seminars is about this Anglo culture, where ppl are constantly told that sex is immoral, a forbidden fruit (and so forth), and then, getting it becomes a power trip. If it were simply treated as a form of body relaxation and so forth, perhaps some of these persons could take a more balanced approach towards it.
Can't argue with that. Plus, we all know the Pagans started it all ;)
Rin
2014 Jul 20, 11:12am
Don't think you wouldn't get involved with a prostitute, either, because that happens a lot.
I have a long term single acquaintance, a very intelligent man, who tells me stories and close calls that are pretty hair raising, since he has utilized the paid professionals
I don't know if you didn't know, but in first world Japan, this is a common arrangement between a lot of salarymen and college co-ed students.
To a lesser extent, this also occurs in Quebec.
In the US, however, much of this is a scam and not a true arrangement. We don't have much of a courtesan culture around here.
Strategist
2014 Jul 20, 11:14am
As it was another working weekend, the good thing is that it didn't need to be in the office.
So I'd taken to the road and went to my R&R city. After logging a number of hours, working on the reports, I'd decided to take the needed break.
I'd called in for an esc*rt. She was cute, with a slim body, pert bottom, and medium sized melons.
We had a couple of intense bo*nking sessions. The admiral was quite happy, and I was feeling relaxed. She was also quite the conversationalist, taking about Nova Scotia, Atlantic seafood, & something about collector's items.
After she'd left, I'd went right back to work. I'd stayed up rather late but I got those boring reports done.
What I remember about her today is her smooth, round butt and my lips on her nipples. I can barely recall any of the details of our conversation.
Oh God, you got me drooling.
You know, you could write steamy hot screen plays. Even porn. Ever thought of the fringe benefits?
The Original Bankster
2014 Jul 20, 11:26am
A lot of what you're seeing in these sex related seminars is about this Anglo culture, where ppl are constantly told that sex is immoral, a forbidden fruit (and so forth), and then, getting it becomes a power trip. If it were simply treated as a form of body relaxation and so forth, perhaps some of these persons could take a more balanced approach towards it.
right i mentioned this before. the idea that sex can only be enjoyed in marriage with your wife is something society holds sacred because the moment you break that- childrearing and the other constraints of marriage make almost no sense at all. Im sure many times in history these things have broken down resulting in revolutions and what not.
Why don't people just enjoy themselves? why not just wake up and realize youre not a breeder bot for the ruling class?
Rin
2014 Jul 20, 1:12pm
Oh God, you got me drooling.
You know, you could write steamy hot screen plays. Even porn. Ever thought of the fringe benefits?
I do a bit of ghost writing, here and then, as writing screenplays is one of my Renaissance man goals, once I'm done with this hedge fund work.
Here's the thing, I know many workaholics; those who work late on Fridays, half of a Saturday, and sometimes even a Sunday. All I hear from 'em is that their wives or GFs complain on and on, that they don't take 'em to X, Y, or Z.
Well, that's life sometimes, a man's got to work. In contrast, if I can breakaway, I go to my R&R city and have a good time with a lady of the night, end of story. So even though my job eats into a lot of my free time, I'm still able to get something because instead of looking for some "meaningful relationship" to satisfy me, I simply go for the satisfaction directly.
NDrLoR
2014 Jul 20, 1:25pm
I know men with chronic, painful prostatitis because of basically imbedded infections and inflammation that never clear up because they thought they should be doing everything they see in the pornos.
I read a short Yahoo! story to the effect that there is now an incidence of what is called "early onset prostate cancer" among young men, like in the 25-35 range, that is much more rapid and almost entirely unresponsive to the usual paliatives. It's far different and rapid in its spread from the one found in older men that is very slow growing to the extent that if they are in their 70's they'll probably die of something else before the cancer spreads.
Lots of prominent men have lost their careers, social status and families over sex issues, especially when they become really compulsive about it. Add alcohol,drugs, and blackmail and you have a perfect danger trifecta, like the deceased google executive in Santa Cruz
People often downplay stories about sex as though they are insignificant, but it would be hard to think of any other activity that can have greater ramifications for bad consequences in all three areas of emotional, financial or health than sex.
Strategist
2014 Jul 20, 1:39pm
Well, that's life sometimes, a man's got to work. In contrast, if I can breakaway, I go to my R&R city and have a good time with a lady of the night, end of story. So even though my job eats into a lot of my free time, I'm still able to get something because instead of looking for some "meaningful relationship" to satisfy me, I simply go for the satisfaction directly.
Could get expensive. Just buy the cow.
Rin
2014 Jul 20, 2:01pm
Could get expensive. Just buy the cow.
Those days are over. It's getting harder and harder for a 'cow' to convince me that she's *the one*.
Strategist
2014 Jul 20, 2:05pm
Could get expensive. Just buy the cow.
Those days are over. It's getting harder and harder for a 'cow' to convince me that she's *the one*.
Well you can shack up with one and get the milk for free. No commitments.
Just make sure the cow does not end up with a calf.
Rin
2014 Jul 20, 2:12pm
Could get expensive. Just buy the cow.
Those days are over. It's getting harder and harder for a 'cow' to convince me that she's *the one*.
Well you can shack up with one and get the milk for free. No commitments.
Just make sure the cow does not end up with a calf.
Dude, I own my own home in central MA. The last thing I need is some cow, messing it up.
I'd rather work hard but then, bo*nk hard, up in Quebec.
Strategist
2014 Jul 20, 2:15pm
Could get expensive. Just buy the cow.
Those days are over. It's getting harder and harder for a 'cow' to convince me that she's *the one*.
Well you can shack up with one and get the milk for free. No commitments.
Just make sure the cow does not end up with a calf.
Dude, I own my own home in central MA. The last thing I need is some cow, messing it up.
I'd rather work hard but then, bo*nk hard, up in Quebec.
What happens when you get really horny and can't get to Quebec to bo*nk? A full time cow can come in handy during emergencies.
Rin
2014 Jul 20, 2:19pm
What happens when you get really horny and can't get to Quebec to bo*nk? A full time cow can come in handy during emergencies
Here's a place to start ...
ordering one of the above, still beats putting up with meaningless arrangements at home.
I haven't tried it yet, but I'm keeping it in mind.
« First « Previous Comments 90 - 129 of 168 Next » Last » Search these comments
Since it's tough to run through an entire thread to find this, I figured I should make this a reference read, all on its own.
Original thread:
http://patrick.net/?p=1246407
Here's a trip report, emailed around, about an older guy, who's lost himself to the Philippines. For me, I do not believe in the expression, hindsight is 20/20. For me, it's more that that person's foresight was negligent. When I'm in my late 40s, I would not have gone through a similar crisis.
Traveler: "I'm 47 years old and in good health.
I’m not struggling with a mid-life crisis. Everything is, or was, going well for me.
I was satisfied with my life. I was happy and content, or I thought I was. So what the hell happened to me?
I have a good job. I was satisfied with it. I have a great wife, we almost never argue. We have two fine children, a boy and a girl, both in college. I make good money with cash in the bank. We have a nice house and a summer place on the beach. Even the pets, two cats and a dog, get along well together.
I went fishing to Canada once a year with my buddies, played tennis almost every weekend, golfed occasionally, movies with the family sometimes, cards with other couples once in a while, poker with the boys a couple of times a month, a night out with the guys once every blue moon, and sex with the wife once every two weeks or so.
Now I don’t give a damn about my current life. So what could have possibly turned my world upside-down? I went to Angeles City in the Philippines.
My downfall started several years ago when the three friends I go fishing with to Canada every year decided instead to go to Angeles City. They said they’d heard the streets were lined with sexy, young, and beautiful women, that all you had to do was show up with some cash in your pocket.
I’d heard those stories about other places in the world but I discounted them. I told them that was just a tall tale, but they insisted they were going. I couldn’t persuade them to change their minds. They attempted to convince me to go also but I wasn’t interested.
Their first trip was June 2001. They left grown men and returned little kids. They walked around most of the time with silly grins on their faces, and acted like they had a big secret they were just itching to tell everyone but couldn’t. When they were alone with the other guys, all they talked about was Angeles City. They told the wildest stories I’d ever heard. I quite frankly thought they had lost their minds, relating outrageous tales that couldn’t possibly be true.
One night my wife asked me if I had noticed anything different about my friends. When I told her I hadn’t, she said that my friends’ wives, all friends of hers, had told her their husbands had been acting a little strange ever since they returned from the last fishing trip.
I had lied to her. Of course I knew why they had been behaving strangely. The Philippines had done it to them. My friends were ten years old again, always carrying that goofy grin on their faces. I couldn’t understand how one trip to that place could cause so many changes in them.
They went the next year too, in June 2002. This time they returned with photographs. They had shots with two or three girls in the pool at their hotel, in restaurants, even in their rooms. The girls were gorgeous, sexy and young. They weren’t lying about that.Those photographs were their prized possession. They would excitedly jab a finger at one of the pictures and their voices would jump an octave while they related one of their stories. It was really strange behavior for normally mature men in their forties.
They described sex acts with those girls that I had only dreamed about, things that I couldn’t even mention to my wife. She would have left me instantly if I had even remotely suggested it might be fun to have a threesome with another female. I can just about guarantee you those kinds of subjects are never broached with a white, middle-class, Baptist wife.
Despite their photos, the vivid descriptions and graphic details of their latest adventures, I didn’t entirely believe their stories. I told them those things just don’t happen. I admitted they probably had sex with those girls, but I said I just didn’t believe they had two or three of those girls in the bed and had sex with them all at the same time.
My buddies lost interest in everything except talking about Angeles City and planning their next trip. My wife noticed the changes too, asking why I wasn’t playing tennis or golfing with the guys anymore. I just told her that they had gotten busy doing other things lately. She gave me one of those “Oh yeah?†looks. She knew something was awry but since normalcy was still the standard in our house, she didn’t push me on the subject.
It was a few months after their second trip to the Philippines that the guy that worked in the same company with me, separated from his wife. He was the first one.I was shocked when my wife told me about it. His wife had been over to my house, crying on my wife’s shoulder, really balling her eyes out my wife said. She told my wife she didn’t understand her husband anymore, they hadn’t had sex in months, he had been really weird and that she had no idea why he wanted to leave her.
My friend refused to explain anything to his wife. He wouldn’t discuss it with his two kids who were already grown and out of the house. He just took off, leaving his wife alone.
I wondered if the Philippines had pushed him over the edge. I talked to him, asking him if he was sick or something. He replied that he didn’t want to be married anymore. I told him it was those trips to the Philippines that had screwed him up. I remember his response clearly to this day,
“You don’t understand. You just don’t understand. You have to go there to understandâ€.
Shortly thereafter he filed for divorce. I talked to him again, telling him he was stupid for throwing away everything he had worked for the last twenty-five years or so. He just sat there with a hang-dog look, slowly nodding his head back and forth. He acted like he was being coerced to do something against his will, yet in his next breath when he mentioned Angeles City, he was instantly transformed, happy and grinning again.
I thought he was just a weak individual with no self-control or self-discipline. I told him bluntly he was just letting the little head do the thinking for the big head and that he should grow up and get over it. He told me that wasn’t it and repeated that I just had to go there to understand. It was all completely beyond my comprehension.They made their third trip to Angeles City in June 2003. When they returned, all they talked about was going again. All they cared about was getting back to Angeles City. It was their sole topic every time I saw them. Their behavior and attitudes were totally alien to me.
The guy that worked in the company with me was now divorced. Within two weeks of returning from their third trip, another one of the guys left his wife. My wife began wondering out loud about those fishing trips to Canada but she never confronted me directly.
In February of this year, my company sent a team of us to Japan on business. The friend that was now divorced was a member. We had planned to spend two weeks in Japan. As it turned out, we finished in a week. My friend suggested we take a jaunt down to the Philippines. I told him I wasn’t interested but he persisted until I relented.I wasn’t concerned in the least about what the Philippines might do to me. What had happened to my friends wouldn’t happen to me. So what if there are young sexy girls in the Philippines? So what if I could have sex with them? I wasn’t worried. I wasn’t going to Angeles to have sex with those women. Some of those girls in Angeles were my daughter’s age. I couldn’t have sex with women that young, no way! I couldn’t even imagine having sex with women that young. I was going to merely see what all the fuss was about.
So now I have been back from Angeles City almost three months. I thought a trip to the Philippines wouldn’t phase me. I was wrong. I thought I could return to my normal life without any disruptions. I was wrong. I assumed when I returned home, the memories of the trip would fade. I was wrong. I thought I would be able to deal with whatever Angeles City threw at me. I was totally wrong!
I understand my friends now. Everything they told me is true. When we get together, we howl and laugh and slap each other on the back. We tell the same stories over and over. We are closer friends now than ever before, almost brothers. We are members of a special group, for we have been to Angeles City!!!!
My friend took me to the Champagne Club first. He was well known there, several girls squealing, laughing, grabbing him and greeting us as we walked in the door. In no time at all he had introduced me to four or five stunning beauties; and I could take one, two or all of them home with me? It was something I’d never thought possible. Within five minutes of entering the Champagne Club, I had succumbed to the charms of Angeles City. I didn’t realize it then but I was already lost forever.
All I want now is to go again. I dream of the first night in Angeles City that changed my life forever. I had two gorgeous, sweet girls, naked with me in the hotel swimming pool, taking showers with me, all three of us nude in the bed, doing things I had hardly even read about in racy novels.
Or I dream of the time I stayed with Maricel, only twenty years old with a soft, sexy, purring voice that will melt you like an ice cube in the hot Philippino sun. She has a body and face that would win beauty contests in the United States.We were together four glorious days and nights. We spend most of the days around the hotel pool, swimming, throwing the beach ball back and forth and splashing water. She would wrap her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck and pull me close while we were lounging in the water. Sitting by the pool she was always near me, touching me or holding my hand. Frequently she crawled up in my lap, playing with my ears or hair and kissing me on the neck, face and lips.
She was the most loving, affectionate and accommodating woman I’d ever met in my life. My wish was her command. She would run get my cigars, go to the store to pick up snacks for the room and take the dirty clothes to the laundry. You name it, she did it for me. She never complained about anything, not once in four days.We made love in the morning when we woke up. Usually in the late afternoon we’d make love again. At night we’d go out to eat and then go bar hopping. Afterwards we’d return to the hotel and make love again. She always wanted to sleep close to me, throwing an arm and a leg over my body. Sometimes I would just lay there listening to her soft breathing next to my ear while she slept. It was heaven!
She wasn’t jealous either. When we were in the clubs, I could call other girls over, buy them drinks and talk to them. She would sit close, always touching me while she joined in the conversations. She even told me it was ok if I wanted to take another girl with us.
Can you imagine a white woman volunteering to bring another chick home for sex? I thought I was dreaming. This couldn’t be happening. This young beautiful lady was willing to share me with another girl, at the same time? I told her “No†because I was so enraptured of her, I didn’t want to share her with anyone, not even another girl.
We were making love three times a day, sometimes more. During the day she would sometimes whisper in my ear, “Honey, let’s go inside.†We did it everywhere imaginable in the room, on the desk, on the floor, sitting on the couch, in the shower, everywhere! We even did it in the hotel pool late one night.
Any kind of sex I wanted was OK with her. In fact she showed me some things I’d never done before. If you can imagine it, I think we did it. Our love-making was indescribable!Never in my life had I felt like this. I had boundless energy the entire trip, even though I was sleeping only three or four hours a night. I feel twenty years younger now. I am full in spirit. I am alive!!!
Angeles City is amazing. Everyone smiles and greets you wherever you go, even the girls on the street. They hooted and hollered when I walked into the clubs where I was known. The guys living there were friendly. You could easily meet them anywhere, in the clubs, outdoor bars, Kokomo’s and other restaurants. They would spend time drinking a beer, chatting and relating their life experiences with you. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to live their lives.When I was in Angeles City, I was a new person. The world as I knew it had ceased to exist. I could speak freely. I didn’t have to modify my behavior for fear of repercussions. People left me alone. I could do just about anything I wanted and wouldn’t be criticized – there was no politically-correct bullshit in Angeles City.
I didn’t have to get up early and drag myself to work every day. I didn’t have a demanding boss looking over my shoulder. I didn’t have those relentless monthly bills that are unavoidable at home. I didn’t have to worry about changing the oil in the cars, cutting the grass, fixing the roof or catering to the wife’s needs. Hell, I didn’t even have to take out the garbage.I had miraculously escaped the rat race and the suffocating restrictions American society imposes on all of us.
Angles City!!!! This is the way it is supposed to be! I am free! I control my destiny!So after one trip to Angeles City, I found I was locked into my life at home, a life I didn’t want anymore. I thought I had lost my mind. My behavior changed, just as my friends’ did. My wife started asking me what was wrong with me. I could see the worried look on her face. She was concerned for my mental health. I wouldn’t, couldn’t explain anything to her. She suggested I see a psychiatrist. I did, explaining in much greater detail than here.While I talked for over an hour, the doc sat there with this incredulous look on his face. I wondered if he was deciding if I was a complete lunatic or planning his first trip to the Philippines.
He told me I wasn’t crazy, advising me to grow up, get over it and get on with my life, the same thing I had told my friends. Ironically I found myself repeating, just as my friends had to me,
“You don’t understand. You just don’t understand. You have to go there to understandâ€.
Going to the doctor didn’t do much good. I did decide I hadn’t totally lost my marbles, but I had lost interest in everything I had held dear before.
The job? The hell with it. I don’t care anymore. I still go to work because I have to. Believe me, if it wasn’t required, I wouldn’t set foot in the office another day. I have another 15 years to work before I’m eligible to retire. I don’t think I can last that long. Physically I’m ok. Mentally, I shudder to think I have to work another fifteen years before I can retire to the Philippines.
My hobbies? Tennis anyone? Screw it, I never play the game anymore. Fishing? I’ll give you my rods and reels, just drop by the house some afternoon. Golf? My clubs can turn to rust for all I care. Playing cards with the wife and friends? No thanks, it’s boring. Poker with the guys? Yeah but we just drink and talk about the Philippines. I seldom see a movie and I never watch TV anymore.
I had never spent a lot of time on the computer at home before I went to Angeles City but I do now, always checking the bulletin boards. I crave any information at all about the place. I cruise the Angeles City and bar web sites, looking at all the photos and devouring any news about the town. When the wife’s out of the house or sleeping, I chat with the girls I know there.I haven’t had sex with my wife since I returned from the Philippines. I’m not interested in sex with her anymore. We don’t even sleep in the same bedroom now. My wife has done nothing wrong but she’s losing me, 27 years of marriage down the toilet. She’s aware it’s happening but doesn’t understand why or how to stop it.
I am thrown into depression and despair when I hear her crying and sobbing through the wall at night, yet at the same time I’m wishing she would finally go to sleep so I can sneak off to the computer and chat with the girls in Angeles City. We are on the road to divorce and like my friends before me, it’s entirely my fault, yet I am powerless to change anything.
I know I can not go back to being the man I was previously. I admit to you I don’t even want to go back to my prior life, for I have been to the Elysian Fields. I am obsessed with returning. The desire to be on the streets, and in the bars in Angeles City is an overpowering drug I can not control. I can’t wait until I get on the plane again. It’s all I dream of.
I dislike myself though, for not being strong enough to resist the siren call of Angeles City. I abhor the thoughts, emotions and desires that lure me back to Fields Avenue, yet in the next second, my spirit soars and I am smiling again as I think of my next trip, but I hate myself for ruining my family’s lives. Sometimes I cry too, knowing what I will ultimately do to them.
Yet my thoughts about Angeles City never dissipate. I care to talk only of my experiences there. I am irresistibly drawn to Fields Avenue just as lemmings are to the sea. All I want is to get back to what was heaven on earth for me. It is the sole reason for my existence anymore.
If you are happy now, don’t go to Angeles City. Angeles City will destroy your life. Once you have visited that town, you will lose interest in everything and everyone at home. Every waking hour you will spend plotting to return again, and again, and again, and again.
I am an Angeles City junkie now, addicted until I die.
Don’t go to Angeles City. Don’t ruin your life as I have done. "