patrick.net

Lobbyists are being hired by assholes like me to outlaw credit unions, harass them and to remove their federal tax exemption.

Before you know it, you servants will have no choice but to bank at JP Morgan, Citibank, Bank of America, HSBC, Capital One, Wells Fargo, TD Bank and be charged $500 dollars a month for the privilege of having a bank account so you assholes can have the permission to make deposits to give us money.

Big banks are they only assholes in business who charge you to have the privilege of you being able to hand them your money.

All fees will only be waived for Gay Trillionaire Chinidians who shit gold because they have a minimum balances of half a trillion dollars.

Also we will charge $100 dollars a month for the privilege of having a debit card. You need to pay to spend your own money and if you want to use the ATM that would be $20 dollars for each session regardless if you make a deposit, withdrawal, balance inquiry or just log-in and do nothing because you are an imbecile. If it's an out of network ATM, that would be $10 dollars extra plus the ATM Operators Fee which is likely $20 dollars for each session as an industry standard.

Want a electronic statement? That would $10 bucks due to bandwidth usage.

Want a paper statement? Double!

Want to login into your account online? 20 bucks for each session!

Want to enter a branch even if it's just to use the inside ATM? $100 dollar cover. We need to clean the dirt from your footsteps, assholes. Hiring Mexican janitors to clean at night is cheap but still costs us money and we are greedy. The outside ATM doesn't cost you money but you will have to pay $20 dollars for each session.

Need to park your car inside our Branch parking lot? $100 dollars for each 30 minutes. Don't pay? We'll tow your piece of shit beater and minus the tow fees and bank services fees which would be around $3000 thousands dollars total from your bank account. Don't pay? We will repossess your car and also your house to satisfy all fees. If we negative your account for the towing, overdraft fees also apply.

Want to have the privilege of talking to someone inside the branch or on the phone? $200 dollars for 30 minutes. If you are even a second above that, it's now an extra $200 dollars regardless of whether you use the entire 30 minutes for the second session.

Want checks? $10 dollars for each to be printed plus shipping and than a $25 dollar fee for each check written.

Wrote a check that bounced? $500 dollars!

Deposited a check that bounced? $1000 dollars!

Overdrew on your account? $200 dollars each day for EACH transaction! Anything above $200 dollars overdrawn? $400 Dollars each day for each transaction! Anything above $400 dollars overdrawn? $600 dollars each day for each transaction! I think you assholes get it now, that it goes by $200 dollar increments!

Want to do a ACH transfer? $100 dollars!

Want to do a wire transfer? $300 dollars!

Dispute a charge? $500 dollars!

Want to close your account because of our hideous fees? $10,000 dollars!

New account openers receive a ONE PENNY bonus in free money.

*Total Fees listed do not include sales tax.

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How many of you are finally sick of these big banks' stupid moronic fees these days?

Where do you bank?

Do any of your use credit unions?

How many of you will switch to a credit union pretty soon?

Did you know that credit unions have shared co-op branches all across nationwide? You can use their ATM's free of charge, make deposits and even use teller services? Your memberships to credit unions are also permanent!

STOP USING THE BIG BANKS!

There is no need to use them EVER. You have credit unions!

Update: Also Regional Banks, Small Local Bank and Small Community banks are also a very good option. Some credit unions are how ever not good banks. In Southern California, I hear a lot of complaints. Some credit unions are also really a big business in reality. They have "inactivity fees" some credit unions. But some states have made that fee illegal like Texas. So it can depend whether to use a credit union or not. Some of them can be a crappy deal. Regional Bank, Small Local Banks and Community Banks are also very good too and the fees are very clear with no "gotcha" trickery involved.

Bottomline? Stop using the big banks. There is no reason use them at all!

But I move around a lot? Use a credit union than with a coop network of ATMS and branches. If no good credit unions are available, than just use small local banks or community banks or regional banks.

It's doesn't take that much time to sign-up and set-up bill pays.

You can also have a prepaid card like American Express Bluebird that gives out checks as well with NO Fees for loading and no monthly fees at all as a backup if you move around a lot until you finally sign up to a local bank, regional or community.

But I don't even suggest a prepaid card unless you need to order things online or don't have a credit card ( I don't suggest credit card either).

Moreover, they are ways to manage your life without having to have a bank account.

Millions of Americans don't have a bank account and many of them say it is because of the unclear fees of many banks and that they design the fee structure to eventually screw you.

The big banks are not worth it for anything including convenience. Stop banking with them. Starve the beast!

Don't work for them and don't bank for them. If everyone did this, they would all collapse overnight from bank runs, lack of employees and lack of business.

They would not be able to operate and do the crimes that they do.

PS. Credit unions used to be better in the past. Still are better than the big banks but some of them are really not better. Small banks, local regional banks and community banks are also very good.

#crime