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An awful bill —even more awful than usual— is currently sailing through the state assembly and lighting up social media. But I could barely find any corporate media reports about the controversy at all. Local KCRA-3 ran the story under the intentionally mind-numbing headline “Proposed California law AB 495 aims to help immigrant families plan in case of separation.” First hint: the bill isn’t limited to immigrants, at all. ...

In fact, AB 495 would vastly expand California’s caregiver rules for kids, letting any adult claiming a “mentoring” or extended-family relationship instantly take over key parental powers —like school pickup, enrollment, and medical consent— by signing a self-executing affidavit with no court review, no ID check, and no parental notice, all while shielding schools and providers from legal liability so long as they say they accepted the one-page form in “good faith.”

Without exaggeration, AB 495 would let virtually anyone fill out a “Caregiver’s Authorization Affidavit” in the morning, drive up to a school that afternoon, and legally drive away with the child, without showing ID, with no prior notice to the parent, and no verification of any kind beyond the piece of paper in their hand. Literally all they would need to do is check a box “verifying” they have a “mentoring relationship” (i.e., grooming) with the child.

It wouldn’t even matter that they weren’t on the school’s authorized pickup list, since the custodial powers extend to adding names to the list.

That’s only the beginning. The affidavit signer could take the child straight from the school to a gender surgery or any other medical treatment. If they got pulled over by a cop at 2am in a white panel van with “free candy” painted on the side and a kid in the back, and the cop started asking questions, they could just whip out the self-executed affidavit they signed that morning, and the cop would have no choice but to let them go.

The bill’s supporters do not deny the school ‘loophole’ exists. To them, that is a feature, not a loophole. Their explanation —get this— is that it’s Trump’s fault. In short, if an illegal alien is seized and deported in the morning, who will pick up their child from school? In other words, this bill is necessary because of aggressive immigration enforcement.

Sorry, parents. Your concerns must yield to the concerns of non-citizens.