patrick.net

Oh, crap. You just swoop in here and post this? I'd dare say you're the bluebird of unhappiness for being so cagey.

Mike Tyson's hobbies don't fly here. This is a housing crash board (and by extension an economy crash page), where people talk about the value of their nest eggs dropping like flies. People losing their seed money. But on teevee it's different - ya ever notice that when one show starts on a ridiculous subject, another follows?

expect a parrot teevee shows about the way that Mike Tyson can straighten up and fly right in the face of adversity.

Why, the unmitigated gull!
Don't you give a hoot?
Oh, well, thanks for dropping by anyway, but why squawk about this? Things are going to be ducky, you'll see. So don't be so down about it. You're sounding a bit Daffy. Why not swallow your pride?
And while you're at it, please sparrow me the drama.
Shucks, if this keeps up, I'll polly go crackers.
Gotta go now to make some nest cafe.

Tyson went from earning half a billion dollars to his banking account showing a huge goose egg. That's enough to ruffle your feathers and make you do the funky chicken. I may have to post a tweet about this.

What the cluck happened to Iron Mike?
They say that Tyson's chicken. Well, this accusation Foster's ill will. How did he become a shell of his former self? Why did he crack up? Did his yoke become to heavy? It just dozen make sense. Any info out there? I'm all ears.
What I want to know is: Would he cry fryer in a crowded theater?
It seems now that his bank account is down to a poultry sum, he's hatching a half baked plan to feather his nest to get a leg up but is the thigh the limit? Or will folks squawk? I don't know what to ex-peck when he comes home to roost with his brood since he does have skin in the game.

Toucan play this game, and now we’ve got newhomebuyer7 pointing out the obvious (tweets). Again, I’m sitting with egg on my whiskers - ya’ll are looney. But I feel like you’re a pack of vultures waiting for dinner to be served.

Mikey, you’ve been an albatross around my neck and I don’t have the giblets for this. It’s so hard to soar with the eagles … But no good tern goes unpunished.

Tyson was chicken when someone hurt his bird? So he thought he’d be bald and change the game, I guess he needed something to crow about – something to increase his budgie and buy more stuff. There were so many other professions he could have tried – Flamingo Dancer, Roadrunning, Crane Operator… I wonder if he has any egrets about the choice he made to get in the cage? He made so many fowl choices in his life, after all. Some were real turkeys. Now he’s making a poultry amount compared to the scratch he used to make.

Really cooked his goose, huh?

Well, chalk swan up for the resident punsters but why are we taking cheep shots? I feel like a worm. It's plume loco to continue like this. Before you know it, we'll be flipping each other the bird. This is wild and it sure can get a bit cagey toying with this topic. We need to be on watch heron now. And we need to be much more lovey dovey, and especially watch the bird dogging. Or should we just leave quail enough alone? Oh, well, your geese is as good as mine.
This reminds me of the bird brained wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz: "I'm molting! I'm molting!"
PS: I'd like to post more but right now I'm in the mood for a slice of magpie. I realize this is nothing to crow about but everyone's raven about it.

Mikey - I wonder what Tyson's got waiting in the wings for his new career?

I don't know what he's got waiting in the wings but it had better be a honey of an idea because he really needs to cut the mustard here. Something crisp, saucy and zesty that could buffalo the public. It's time for him to bison shine.
This yard bird might even be crowned lord of the wings. Or it's possible he might get drummed out of town.

Mebbe he'll shuffle on off to buffalo.

Have you herd anything?

I had the fourthought of creating an answer for this very question. In my defence, I got sauced and got a little salty for awhile there.

I'll pepper my answer with some wisdom (or something wise-ass, I think that's the same). I guess you know how it is when you're fried... I've got a leg up on you, Mikey, if only becaws I'm a punny girl.

I believe that Tyson will find something cheesy like a reality teevee show. He's old news, but that seems to sell these days.

You shouldn't be talon tales out of school. You might make me soar. Or grouse me out. Why are you mis-be avian? You remind me of my pal Barbi Q. She's quite a grill. She got burned in the past but she finally learned how to fry right, however, she never stopped smoking.
She's an internet junkie--always on the Weber. And she doesn't mind getting flamed. She really cooks and knows how to sell the sizzle.

Raven mad, are we?

How many more times shall you attempt to best me and actually get a win? Nevermore.

And you can quoth me on that!

I prey that the blue bird of happiness will leave a present on your door step. No, I'm not mocking you. But I may consider giving you the silent tweetment.
Is this my swan song? Will I chicken out?
I happened to come by here to take a gander and found out that what's good for the goose is...a golden egg, if I remember correctly. As if I carat all. Hope this rings true. It's molten season.

Your telltale heart speaks volumes, my friend. I'm putting on my black cat and I won't make a spectacle of myself - in the pit of my stomach I think I'm right.

I don't want to Boris all but have you tried a silver bullet? It makes franken sense and that ain't exactly beans. I know everything isn't black and white but it's a Universal cure and it doesn't need to be revamped, especially when the wolf is at the door. Or you can also call your mummy. Well, it looks like this is a wrap.

mikey says

I don’t want to Boris all but have you tried a silver bullet?

Yep. Just drank one. Don't know why they called it a "lite" 'cause it weighed the same as the regular one. It drove me labatty. Naturally, I had to take another drink to cure what ale'd me. Now I'm living the High Life. (I hope I'm spelling this okay - I'm a little tipsy and am writing this by an amber light.)

Anyway, that's all in the pabst. Now I'm sadder, budweiser.

Sadder Budweiser? Of Coors you are. But I'm tapped out. I don't have the head for this. You got me over a barrel.

Well, I can't offer you any head. This entire thread is for the bids, and I'm fizzing out.

Oh, well, suds is life.