Comments 1 - 22 of 32 Next » Last » Search these comments
mikey
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2009 Aug 4, 3:40am
Don't remember. We did it while crossing the road, then she accused me of being an egg beater and the fuzz whisked me away.
mikey
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2009 Aug 4, 12:25pm
Great Scott, it looks like interpretame is on a roll with a perfectly Charmin post.
elliemae
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2009 Aug 4, 11:10pm
Urine luck, you bowled me over with that reply. I'm sitting here with my magazine, flush with relief over the possibilities here. I'm turd, having worked half the night, and pissed off that I didn't squeeze out my work any faster. Maybe I'm septic?
elliemae
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2009 Aug 6, 12:33am
Can't stay on tract 'cause I'm pooped - so I'll be brief. I was out late last night, having a shitload of fun. A bunch of us went out, were in a crappy little bar just singing away & snacking at the buffet. Our pipes were rusty but the sound was so loud the neighbors immediately knew where it came from. Our symphony was good - it passed the smell test. And we were dropping dollars all around.
You know the story - I met a guy, but he was a drip. Smelled like... well, he stank. So we left. I still had some of the crap I'd been eating, so I tossed my cookies into the bushes - and wouldn't you know it, there was a copper standing there. He popped out a ticket for littering. I'm gonna sewer something, it was entrapment, pure & simple.
I'm gonna go shake hands with the mayor & see if I can put the squeeze on him...
elliemae
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2009 Aug 6, 6:21pm
Awwww, shucks. I forgive you. It's a full moon.
But it stinks, being the butt of the joke...
mikey
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2009 Aug 7, 12:13pm
"The way the economy is, we’d just wind-up in the shithouse"
Then we won't use bricks.
elliemae
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2009 Aug 7, 1:13pm
Gentlemen! That little comment tipped this thread in a new direction! We can get plastered, I'll trowel on some makeup and we can do something ex-siding. Wood that be okay with you? Maybe we'll have to block out the rest of the world, unless we get stuck - Oh, that'd be vinyl with me.
Get your minds outta the gutter, I'm building on your last comments and have some constructive input.
elliemae
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2009 Aug 8, 1:23am
The gutter is wherein I dwell,
I fear I cannot part it,
I think I’ll stay, as I do well,
Back in the place I started.
mmmmmmmmmmmmm, what rhymes with "started?" I'm drawing a blank.
mikey
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2009 Aug 8, 3:19am
I was casing the joint and Ellie's prime post floored me when I saw it. I know exactly what cement. I guess rafter is the best medicine.
Well, joist to the world.
The pun is miter than the sword, mortar or less, in her concrete example, and it rocks. I hope she keeps attic because I plan to lentel an ear. After all, it's only fitting.
elliemae
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2009 Aug 8, 3:11pm
Oh, Mikey! You're such a stud! You covered all the right angles, and you nailed it! Keep up the punny stuff, I know you conduit!
mikey
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2009 Aug 9, 3:49pm
I would like to counter and furnace more moldy puns but I'm too wired to cut it and my fire wall is down so my name is mud and I plan to sit on the fence like a stoop and wet my drawers. I don't care how many stairs I get or how many folks rail. As they say, you always hearth the one you love.
elliemae
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2009 Aug 9, 11:22pm
You're steel the pun King, Mikey. I can't compare, I feel so Lowe. Figured that retail therapy wood help (nothing could be Kohler). I hopped a Trane, went down the Delta & got off at my Home Depot to buy a new bbq grill. My family is spread out - I've invited my Western Family to come over & Sear some meat tonight. I got a True Value, Aced it. Right on Target with my budget - I love getting Food 4 Less. When I Payless I'm the happiest.
We're gonna raise the roof, cut a rug, and knowing some of my relatives, there will be some shagging going on (they love to shed their inhibitions). The really fat ones will lumber in later and sit around the house. If the place gets damaged, we'll buy new stuff. We can buy in pieces (plumbing supply, electrical supply...) or go for the all-in-one: Wall-mart.
mikey
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2009 Aug 10, 2:05pm
I was milling around getting hammered after logging on and I hope I'm not barking up the wrong tree but I was pining to pun some more, if I maple. I know it's knotty and you might call me a warped chiseler who needs a shellacking for trying to go against the grain but at least I'm not lathey. It's how I'm coping and I'm having a ripping good time. At first I drew a plank, wooden you know? Also, my computer chair could use some lumbar support--a larch one, just to spruce up. Gee, I hope this post will be poplar and no one gets board with it. By the way, I'm not a member of any splinter group or a hack and I personally prefer plane Jane's cause they're a cut above.
elliemae
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2009 Aug 10, 3:26pm
You guys & gals are SO GOOD at this, I’m starting to fear for your mental health.
Starting? What was your first glue?
mikey
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2009 Aug 11, 2:17am
You guys & gals are SO GOOD at this, I’m starting to fear for your mental health.
Starting? What was your first glue?
Did you cut and paste that? Didn't you read the Sticky? Or were you stuck?
Comments 1 - 22 of 32 Next » Last » Search these comments
I bumped into a chick from Kentucky named Dixie who was a delight. She was a small fry so I scrambled to take her under my wing. Hey, she egged me on and seemed like some nice take out. I found out that she was a member of the local rotisserie club and that threw me.One day I picked her up in my Coup deVille after I dug up some scratch. It was hot and we were roasting, bacon even. I never sausage weather. At first she thought I was kind of a yokel. Later, we clucked all night. Boy did I have egg on my face. What legs and thighs and tenderloins! Finger lickin' good. I don't mean to broast but I can peck with the breast of them and I've got the nuggets to prove it.We went to the movies to see "Chicken Run" and well, you know me, I'm not the kind to yell "fryer" in a crowded theater and I think that's a feather in my cap.I've got no reason to squawk. I got the grill of my dreams and we're both embroiled in a flaming romance. Luckily, I got in a few pecks when the lights went down but the flick was a tasteless c*ck and bull story. I asked for my money back and can you believe it, they called me cheep. I was shell shocked. I should have cracked a few eggheads. What turkeys. I could have rented Rooster Cogburn instead. I was brooding for a while.Then things got fowl. The fuzz tried to arrest me for cacciatore rape just because we wanted to have some Chicklets. I was even putting away a nest egg and not a poultry sum, either. Thank goodness I'm a hard boiled type of guy cause I'm laying odds that's hard to beat. Also, omletting you know that I'm not hen pecked since I rule the roost even though she shows plenty of pluck. She once took a shot at a poacher in our backyard and that's something to crow about. (somebody named Sanders)However, I hardly ever hear a peep out of her and she never ruffles me, even when I goose her.She really knows how to keep the sunny side up.