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Housing Bubble Haiku


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2006 Apr 3, 5:40pm   30,644 views  245 comments

by HARM   ➕follow (0)   💰tip   ignore  

Haiku room

:mrgreen: Courtesy of Zen Master HARM :mrgreen:
©2006, all rights reserved

Please feel free to post your own "pearls of wisdom"...
(FYI: traditional Haiku uses 3-line stanza; 5-7-5 beat format)

The bids you receive,
The sound of one hand clapping.
Do they sound the same?

Poof! In an instant--
Disappearing without trace
--All your equity.

Hot market blazing
Burn rate growing, credit maxed
--Who put the fire out?

Your intelligence,
Your credit, your house: all are
Well below average…

Paper gains, but air
Mortgage, a lead anchor.
Which carries more weight?

Costs are high, hope gone.
The lender demands –foreclose!
And away goes house…

Like cherry blossom
In last days of spring, your home
Is well past its prime.

Above the summit
Beyond soaring clouds, comes
…New tax assessment!

As small kindnesses
Shown strangers, your upgrades too
Go un-rewarded.

Dark clouds approaching,
No more buyers found –Next comes
Vengeful ‘Silent Spring’.

Your Realtor job seems
Beyond your abilities.
--Is McDonalds hiring?

Many clouds slip by,
Unseen, unknown; much like your
…Prospective buyers.

How vast the ocean
That separates asking price
From true house value.

Many are the paths
That lead to prosperity.
Sadly, none lead here…

Daytrader before,
Flipper now; coming soon:
Parking attendant.

Stainless steel, marble
Glistens so, like Fool’s gold,
It has no takers.

#housing

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9   skibum   2006 Apr 4, 2:12am  

johnjacob,
that's the weirdest haiku i've ever seen. see my last haiku for reference:

I see homes selling.
Prices can only go up.
Yes, I am a troll.

Or maybe this:

Trolls, trolls, where are you?
Can your spam-bots write haiku?
I'd like to see that!

10   edvard   2006 Apr 4, 2:19am  

Hey Johnjacob,
Yup, I heard about those developments. They are one of the first developments to be bought using the new California currency system. I think having California print it's own money is a great step towards assuring that homebuyers can buy homes no matter how much they are. Have you seen the new $1000 bill? It has Arnold Shwarzeneggar on the front, and a house on the back. Great idea! The best part I like about it is that you can go to a vending machine, put in an old worthless US dollar bill, and get 2 $1000 California bills! I mean, it doesn't matter that hot dogs at Wal-Mart now cost $100, all of us who were priced out can easily afford those new condo units. Only 650k you say? can you please send me the specs?

11   Randy H   2006 Apr 4, 2:29am  

LOL, I have to comment on the sudden appearance of an Enlightenment & Zen WorldPress topic add in this thread.

12   edvard   2006 Apr 4, 2:34am  

Ha Ha,
Not sure if I get what you're meaning behind the phasing out of public schools. If you mean that less public schools means pressure on officials to address housing concerns, I can understand that. Otherwise, I can say that many of the students my wife taught were from poor neighborhoods. Without good public schools, they have less of a chance of getting a good education Versus the wealthy residents who send their kiddies to private schools. Maybe I misunderstood you. Did you mean Moreland in particular or the whole bay Area?
It is totally assanine that the richest state in the union cannot find the money to have good public schools. My parents are school teachers in TN, and their school system is in way better shape than the schools here- and they too have the same low pay in direct local wage standard as teachers here.
So while I can see how decimating a public institution can cause politicians and residents to jump into action, it is ashame that kids who had nothing to do with the cause of the problem get caught in the crossfire.

13   surfer-x   2006 Apr 4, 2:40am  

I am better than you
Debt is good, greed is good, suck
On your knees peasant

I swagger, move over
You have no debt you maggot
You are a loser

Pathetic renter
You wish you had my debt load
Wealth now equals debt

All rain, did it pop?
This prime area reigns supreme
Give me more money

Mo Money Money
It is the reason I live
Real Estate Asshat

Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain
NorCal is a magic place
It always goes up

Did I mention wealth?
My debt is the same as cash
My wife’s ass is fat

Soon you fleas will feel
The wrath my equity brings
On your knees peasant

They gave me money
It was for free, all for me
My kids are obese

I post on blogs
There will be a spring bounce fools
I run with the hogs

TM-Surfer-X all rights reserved, all wrongs denied.

14   Joe Schmoe   2006 Apr 4, 2:41am  

Sort of a short Haiku:

$800k McMansion
I/O ARM Financing
Foreclosure awaits

15   surfer-x   2006 Apr 4, 2:43am  

@nomadtoons,

Haiku are

5 syllables
7 syllables
5 syllables

Try it, I think you will find it enjoyable

16   DinOR   2006 Apr 4, 2:43am  

with foes so near
only whisper
i bailed in "05"
before september

none can know
i've lost the faith
trolling boards
for the next big thing
searching, scrounging
hawking bling

listings languish
it's buyers i need
they're the life blood
on which I feed

over leveraged
commissions spent
pressures on
no spin left
all is lost

17   Randy H   2006 Apr 4, 2:47am  

A variable;
Ellusive, where can it be?
To correlate me?

Could it be housing
Inflation, statistics, or
Rent versus mortgage?

Try to quantify,
Qualify and clarify.
(One just wants to cry)

Limit of how high
Insanity dares to climb?
Ignorance, to blame.

18   edvard   2006 Apr 4, 2:48am  

ha ha,
thanks for the explanation. What's amazing to me is that a while back, Mayor Feinstein started a study as to why there is a deline in families in SF with children. Yup- that's where your tax dollars go- to fund projects with answers everyone already knows.

19   edvard   2006 Apr 4, 2:49am  

Surfer,
My mom was a literature teacher. You would've thought Haikus would come easy to me. Pitty the reality.

20   DinOR   2006 Apr 4, 2:52am  

ah, yes
the waiting list
it is for free
it costs nothing
throw your hat in the ring

back-up buyers
need to be qualified?
no, it's just paper
that we can present
keep the cash flow flowing
to make our own rent

21   surfer-x   2006 Apr 4, 2:56am  

@nomadtoons, it is pretty easy once you get the hang of it. If there is a line you like but it doesn't fit, move it aside and use it later.

22   DinOR   2006 Apr 4, 3:02am  

Surfer X,

True enough, haikuing can be fun but it doesn't come naturally to many of us. I think we were indoctrinated to believe poetry should always rhyme, phrases, verses and stanzas?

23   skibum   2006 Apr 4, 3:04am  

This is a limerick, not a haiku.

There once was a troll named JohnJake,
Who said we all made a mistake.
"Homes quickly get sold,
Don't get left in the cold!"
It's too bad that his words are all fake.

24   surfer-x   2006 Apr 4, 3:08am  

I smell troll, HARM where is your can of Troll-b-gone?

25   edvard   2006 Apr 4, 3:17am  

Surfer X,
I think I am more along the lines of someone who admires Ed Wood, who apprently could type faster and longer while completely drunk than any known screenwriter of his day.

26   Peter P   2006 Apr 4, 3:21am  

So what do you think is going to happen to the first two hundred or so Google employees? Think about it. The Bay Area is filled with generations of RICH very-early-retirees. Once again, this area is high stakes poker and you all are sitting in the bingo hall. Good luck!

There are many local markets in the Bay Area and there are many price segments. "Early GOOG retirees" will probably be interested in homes north of 1.5M, which have not been strong during thoughout this boom anyway.

Homes cheaper than 500K are at risk. There is no way Googlers are going to subject themselve to such misery. Going above 750K or so and there may be some support.

This place is NOT high stakes poker. Much of the Bay Area is still below the $1000 per sf mark.

I have started looking for signs of a potential soft landing in some areas.

27   HARM   2006 Apr 4, 3:30am  

I smell troll, HARM where is your can of Troll-b-gone?

Surfer-X,

Who needs Troll-b-gone when you have skillful anti-troll wordsmiths such as yourself & Skibum? They don't stand a chance. :-)

28   HARM   2006 Apr 4, 3:34am  

@AmazedinSF,
Thanks for working "Ha Has" into your Haiku.

All,
Excellent work! If you don't like Haiku, feel free to write limmericks, free verse, whatever you prefer.

29   DinOR   2006 Apr 4, 3:39am  

Harm,

Agreed. Vegas, crashed. Boston, crashing. Phoenix, on the verge. Coast to coast things are looking ragged but it's this one stubborn troll in the only market that hasn't collapsed (yet) touting selective anecdotal "evidence" proudly declaring all is well. My father served in Korea and he said it was amazing that no sooner had they shelled an entire hill to oblivion they would come up and hear little birds already chirping.

30   DinOR   2006 Apr 4, 3:40am  

Chirp on little bird.

31   DinOR   2006 Apr 4, 3:47am  

Surfer X,

I'm sure HARM didn't extend that invite to include Andrew "Dice" Clay poetry O.K?

32   Randy H   2006 Apr 4, 4:02am  

I have started looking for signs of a potential soft landing in some areas. -- Peter P

I have also started to look for such signs in Marin, excluding Novato, most of San Rafael, and Marin City.

We talked a long long time ago about likely zones of support where a soft landing would be expected. Aside from the obvious wealth enclaves (Belvedere, Woodside, Atherton, etc.), there will probably be support in areas like South Marin, Menlo/Palo, Los Altos/Gatos and such.

33   HARM   2006 Apr 4, 4:16am  

Odd how trolls can't write
Haiku. Too bad. Perhaps we
Can try to help them?

Some more Troll-ku for you (thanks for the inspiration, Surfer-X):

Jealous and bitter
Renters. Whining about their
Sad pathetic lives.

Why so jealous, sad
Little bear? Do you envy
My big fat green stacks?

Don't you know the path
To happiness lies in debt?
We are what we owe.

There is no hope for
Bears, priced out forever while
Your neighbor grows rich.

No Bubble, no burst
Plunge Protection at work, while
Foreclosure dreams fade.

Sad little renter,
All your hopes dashed. On your knees
Suck it long, suck hard.

34   HeadSet   2006 Apr 4, 4:23am  

I'm glad limericks are allowed:

There once was a troll realt-whore
Who's rants we could't ignore
"Don't listen to wrecks
Like HaHa, Surfer-X
For renting will keep you all poor"

35   StuckInBA   2006 Apr 4, 4:42am  

Randy H and Peter P,

Are you gouys implying that BA RE prices won't crash and we will actualy get a soft landing ? Or you are just investigating the probability of this happening ? Specifically for some areas or entire BA ?

I must admit, I was a bit surprised to read your comments.

36   Randy H   2006 Apr 4, 5:04am  

To BA Or Not To BA,

Speaking for myself only, when I talk about hard vs. soft landing I'm talking about a macro perspective. I don't claim to know for sure there will be a hard-landing, but I think it's likely. However, this is a macro thing. Even in a hard landing not all areas of the BA will deflate at the same rate. What I'm saying is that during this great run-up the old saying that real estate is location, location, location became less true. Areas that shouldn't support $1M homes had homes selling for $1.2M. As it corrects, those areas will get hit "hard", whereas traditionally wealthier areas probably will get hit "soft".

As the bubble pops again people will focus on location as their three most important factors. Homes in good places will do much better than those in not so good places.

37   DinOR   2006 Apr 4, 5:19am  

Randy H,

And as Peter P is fond of reminding us, the market is about 97% psychology. B/c most of the other major metro areas are already in various stages of collapsing the BA has been somehow awarded the unique status of "flight to quality". In the early stages of the tech wreck the junk sold off first (dot coms etc.) As it became more clear that fundamentals were clearly lacking the next wave of the sell-off took place and finally when "flight to quality" meant flight to another asset class altogether (in this case bonds and REITS) it didn't matter how solid your balance sheet was or how many consecutive quarters you'd paid or increased your dividend, it was now your turn in the barrel! This is a large part of the reason that our little chirping troll teed me off earlier when he pointed to very specific areas of the Bay. Right now I'd say we're about in the "April 2000" stage for the housing crash.

38   StuckInBA   2006 Apr 4, 5:28am  

Skibum,

In this Haiku thread,
it was the best
I have so far read.

39   Peter P   2006 Apr 4, 5:29am  

Are you gouys implying that BA RE prices won’t crash and we will actualy get a soft landing ? Or you are just investigating the probability of this happening ? Specifically for some areas or entire BA ?

Some price segments in some parts in the Bay Area may not correct as much. The rental sentiment in Lower Peninsula for appears to be heating up. It is not as bad as 1999 because low-end units are still stagnant. This seems to confirm the Google effect.

On the other hand, I was touring some complexes and I was told that there have been more than a few former homeowners turning renters.

40   Michael Holliday   2006 Apr 4, 5:30am  

Five seven five, the
Price of my crib? Hell no, foo,
It's silly Haiku.

Me have big car, drive
Very far and live in it
Too. Me very Coo!

You are not smart, kid
You hocked your future for dirt
In this here valley.

My wife Sally is
Cute, lazy, and plump: she sports
a supersized rump.

Damn it all, I quit.
I don't give a flying sh-t.
Wait till it crashes.

The dashes become
dots. The tots become teens. The
Stock market deflates.

An algorithm
For disaster is status
quo. Quid, pro quo...Ho!

I've become more dumb.
Literacy is as rare
as children here, see?

The whole lie exposed.
Buttocks of economy
Moons the light of day.

The masses cower
Under their covers for help
As housing plummets.

I must stop this now.
For I'm hungry and want lunch,
Or tea and crumpets.

41   DinOR   2006 Apr 4, 5:33am  

In the end a lot of the most "laughable" properties that are being offered actually have the least to lose! Some guy that bought a dump in San Jose or Oakland or wherever and never put a lick of work or a dime into improvements heard about "why we are going ga ga over real estate", listed at a ridiculous price (of course not selling it) but WTH, the guys mortgage is like what, 125K anyway. It was wreck back then and it's more of a wreck now. As long as he didn't draw against that "equity" no big deal. Folks that have bought up over the last 1-3 years, different story.

42   Peter P   2006 Apr 4, 5:34am  

I must admit, I was a bit surprised to read your comments.

I can be very surprising sometimes. Don't be surprised.

43   Peter P   2006 Apr 4, 5:37am  

In the end a lot of the most “laughable” properties that are being offered actually have the least to lose!

Laughable properties are more volatile. Until recently, people were buying up crap just to hold on to something.

44   DinOR   2006 Apr 4, 5:41am  

Peter P,

I was referring to some of the laughable listings on the "overvalued" blog and find it hard to believe that the 400 sq. ft. home they showed in Santa Cruz 875K could become that neglected in the span of a few short years. It looked more like DECADES of abuse. But you're right, if someone bought a dump thinking major renovation or tear down just to "get their foot in the door" yeah, they're in for a spanking.

45   DinOR   2006 Apr 4, 5:43am  

It looked like the "re-fi" house from fantasyland mortgage for crissakes!

46   Peter P   2006 Apr 4, 5:54am  

Right now I’d say we’re about in the “April 2000″ stage for the housing crash.

Sounds right. Again, April is the cruelist month.

47   Peter P   2006 Apr 4, 6:04am  

Just think - in a declining or bottomed-out market, do you think anyone will want to pay 1/2 million $$ for a bungalow in south-central LA??

Half-a-mil is a lot of money. It is all about easy money. There will be heartbreaks, lots of them.

48   DinOR   2006 Apr 4, 6:09am  

Skibum,

The types of listings that I believe I was referring to belonged to "Rip Van Flipper" where it looked like the guy had slept for a hundred years woke up all of a sudden and decided if everbody else was makin' money then he should be able to cash in too! I think Randy H would refer to this as a "me too" listing. Just throwing my hat in the ring kind of a thing. Some of them I've seen didn't even bother to mow the lawn let alone slop paint on. Now that's confidence!

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