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For their part, Democrats didn’t really have much to say about it, since they are busy covering for their own vaccine-injured senators, including courageous shingles survivor Diane Feinstein and brave, hoodied stroke overcomer John Fetterman, whose brain is permanently rebooting. Not to mention the old basement campaigner himself, Joseph Robinette Biden, whose brain froze in the middle of installing an update somewhere back in 2019.
Even setting the jab issue aside, America’s government is looking more and more like a contentious bingo tournament at an assisted-living facility. How are these people winning elections? Have Americans discarded all standards except party affiliation? If so, we deserve what we’re going to get.
Anyway, then there were three. Three barely-functional senators. Out of fifty.
Anyway, then there were three. Three barely-functional senators. Out of fifty.
I love Real Raw News, even if it's total fiction. It's like a vacation from the regular fake news.
There you are, sitting across from an elderly, demented man drooling on his oatmeal, when suddenly you begin to wonder: Am I in a nursing home, or in the chambers of the United States Senate?? To help you solve the mystery, look for these nine helpful differences:
1.
Nursing Home: Residents call out "Bingo!" to win money
Senate: Residents call out "Aye!" to spend your money
2.
Nursing Home: Costs $10,000 per resident per month
Senate: Costs $10 billion per resident per second
3.
Nursing Home: Residents alert a nurse when they've soiled themselves
Senate: Residents wave to camera as if nothing happened when they've soiled themselves
4.
Nursing Home: Surprisingly, plagued by STDs
Senate: Not surprisingly, plagued by STDs
5.
Nursing Home: Aides tell residents which domino to play
Senate: Aides tell residents which country to invade
6.
Nursing Home: Pudding and smoothies in the cafeteria at 4
Senate: Pudding, adrenochrome, and roasted flies in the cafeteria at 4
7.
Nursing Home: Smells of death and fecal matter
Senate: Same, if the President stops by
8.
Nursing Home: A bunch of old, angry people yelling about missing Matlock
Senate: A bunch of old, angry people yelling about missing Matlock
9.
Nursing Home: Residents all still alive
Senate: Residents were all, at some point, alive
It takes a keen eye to spot the differences - let us know any that we missed!
"The lady in green tries to reboot him twice..."
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