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I was laid off from Google last week. I found out on my fourth day back from bereavement leave for my Mom, who died from cancer in December.

In another world, I might've written something about the challenges of working with a parent dying of cancer, or the benefits of taking space when you need it. I probably would've written about how openly and honestly talking about mental health was a positive part of the culture at companies like Google, or how I'd used bereavement time to start to undo months of anxiety, stress, and grief. Instead, I'm tired and disappointed.

I've certainly heard worse stories, including layoffs of expecting parents and of Googlers on disability leave. But it still feels like a slap in the face, like being hit when you're down.

It's unclear how the lay-offs were determined, and perhaps the year I had may have nudged me more towards being laid off. I started at Google in December, 2021, and my Mom was diagnosed with Stage IV pancreatic cancer the following February, around when the formal orientation ended and I was put on projects. I will say this: onboarding at Google is challenging, there's a lot of "just figure it out." It was even more difficult when also dealing with my Mom's chemo appointments, moving her in with family, or the extremely challenging last few months of her life.

There will always be more opportunities to work at exciting companies, but a parent dies only once. I'm grateful that I spent the time and energy I did with my Mom, and not overworking for a company who might decide on one cold Friday morning that my badge doesn't work anymore.

Google's strongest assets are the software engineers who work there. They stay because it's an environment that allows them to grow and thrive. If you find talented people who love writing software, put enough of them together, and give them some time, and they'll start identifying and creating new solutions to problems you didn't know you had. But these kinds of people also value a sense of safety. Culture takes years to build, and can break quickly and easily.

The best antidote to woe is probably gratitude, and I have plenty to be grateful for, including a generous severance package, my move back to San Francisco, and more time to re-center. I felt like I was pushed into returning from bereavement earlier that I needed to, and could absolutely use the time off (as David Foster Wallace says in Infinite Jest, "sometimes human beings have to just sit in one place and, like, hurt.") Life goes on, and someday this will be a self-deprecating story told to amuse and entertain, another obstacle overcome.

I'll be taking February and March off, but am open to starting to search for new work around the end of March. If you hear of any opportunities you think might be particularly suited to me, get in touch.

- Tommy York, Software Engineer

Source: https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/google-employee-fired-days-after-his-mother-died-of-cancer-describes-being-laid-off-as-a-slap-in-the-face/articleshow/97381021.cms?from=mdr