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Prince Philip Quotes


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2021 Apr 10, 8:57am   815 views  23 comments

by Bd6r   ➕follow (2)   💰tip   ignore  

Prince Philip died yesterday at age of 99. I generally hate any British monarchy coverage, but this guy was a holdover from a non-PC era, and was quite witty.

His famous quotes:

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

Do you still throw spears at each other? (talking to Australian aboriginese)

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

If you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed. (Said to a group of British students in China in 1986)

Aren't most of you descended from pirates? (Said in 1994 to an inhabitant of the Cayman Islands)

If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats? (Said in relation to the proposal to ban firearms in the UK following the Dunblane shooting)

Welcome Mr. Reich Chancellor. (Said 1997 during a visit by the Federal Chancellor Helmut Kohl)

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test? (Asked of a driving instructor in Scotland)

You managed not to get eaten then? (Said to a British student in Papua New Guinea)

Well, you'll never fly in it, you're too fat to be an astronaut. (Said at the University of Salford to a 13-year-old aspiring astronaut, who was wishing to fly the NOVA rocket)

It looks as if it was put in by an Indian. (Of a fuse box, whilst on a tour of a factory in Edinburgh)

You look like you’re ready for bed! (Said in 2003 to President of Nigeria, who was in national dress)

I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

Comments 1 - 23 of 23        Search these comments

1   HeadSet   2021 Apr 10, 9:02am  

I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

Says the great male whore who married a Queen.
2   Bd6r   2021 Apr 10, 9:22am  

The Duke of Edinburgh was mentioned in despatches for his service during the Second World War.

He was a midshipman aboard HMS Valiant off the southern coast of Greece when he earned his honourable citation.

A young naval officer, he was praised for his actions in the decisive Battle of Cape Matapan against the Italian fleet in March 1941.

The duke later spoke of how he coped when his shipmates died or were wounded.

“It was part of the fortunes of war,” he said. “We didn’t have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun, you know asking ‘Are you all right – are you sure you don’t have a ghastly problem?’ You just got on with it.”
3   Patrick   2021 Apr 10, 10:14am  

OK, the guy was an asshole, but those quotes are golden.
4   Ceffer   2021 Apr 10, 10:14am  

"The Queen's cunt looks like a mess of scurvy bacon with matted hair. Of course I mess around! Besides, look at Andrew. That witless turd never sprung from MY loins. Her fucking horse guy had a climb-on."
5   Bd6r   2021 Apr 10, 11:20am  

To female sea cadet: “Do you work in a strip club?”

To expats in Abu Dhabi in 2011: “Are you running away from something?”

After accepting a conservation award in Thailand in 1991: “Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species.”

At a project to protect turtle doves in Anguilla in 1965, he said: “Cats kill far more birds than men. Why don’t you have a slogan: ‘Kill a cat and save a bird?’”

To a woman solicitor, 1987: “I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit.”

On the new £18million British Embassy in Berlin in 2000: “It’s a vast waste of space.”

To then Paraguay dictator General Stroessner: “It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.”

A VIP at a local airport asked HRH: “What was your flight, like, Your Royal Highness? Philip: “Have you ever flown in a plane?” VIP: “Oh yes, sir, many times.” “Well,” said Philip, “it was just like that.”

On Ethiopian art, 1965: “It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from school art lessons.”

To a fashion writer in 1993: “You’re not wearing mink knickers, are you?”

To black politician Lord Taylor of Warwick, 1999: “And what exotic part of the world do you come from?”

After hearing President Obama had had breakfast with leaders of the UK, China and Russia, 2010: “Can you tell the difference between them?”

On students from Brunei, 1998: “I don’t know how they’re going to integrate in places like Glasgow and Sheffield.”

On Princess Anne, 1970: “If it doesn’t fart or eat hay, she isn’t interested.”

To nursing-home resident in a wheelchair, 2002: “Do people trip over you?”

To the General Dental Council in 1960: “Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I’ve practised for many years.”

To schoolchildren in blood-red uniforms, 1998: “It makes you all look like Dracula’s daughters!”

To a Filipino nurse as he unveiled a new cardiac centre at Luton and Dunstable University Hospital in February: "The Philippines must be half empty, you're all here running the NHS."

To a group of women at a community centre in Chadwell Heath, east London "who do you sponge off?"

When he was greeting crowds at Sandringham last December, the Duke of Edinburgh jokingly asked a bodyguard: “Is that a terrorist?” when he saw a man with a long ginger beard.
6   Patrick   2021 Apr 10, 1:21pm  

OK, I'm starting to like the guy in spite of Irish history.
7   Ceffer   2021 Apr 10, 2:53pm  

Unfiltered Philip: I wonder what he said in private if those are the things he said in public. He really just didn't give a fuck.
9   HeadSet   2021 Apr 10, 5:01pm  

When Prince Phillip said: "You look like you are ready for bed" the Nigerian should have replied "Are you propositioning me? You do have that reputation."
10   HeadSet   2021 Apr 10, 5:06pm  

Rb6d says
To then Paraguay dictator General Stroessner: “It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.”

The reply should have been: "Bravely spoken. Do you find it a pleasure an being a second tier figurehead leeching off the British people?"
11   RWSGFY   2021 Apr 11, 12:14am  

HeadSet says
I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

Says the great male whore who married a Queen.


It takes one...
12   RWSGFY   2021 Apr 11, 12:32am  

Ceffer says
Unfiltered Philip: I wonder what he said in private if those are the things he said in public. He really just didn't give a fuck.


Meh, if you can't be punched in the nose for saying things, it doesn't really take much guts to say them, does it?
14   mell   2021 Apr 11, 11:25am  

FuckCCP89 says
Ceffer says
Unfiltered Philip: I wonder what he said in private if those are the things he said in public. He really just didn't give a fuck.


Meh, if you can't be punched in the nose for saying things, it doesn't really take much guts to say them, does it?


True but I picture him as sort of a roughneck from history.
15   Ceffer   2021 Apr 11, 1:25pm  

Too bad he isn't around to see the Fifth Reich prevail! He would be goose stepping around Buckingham Palace.
16   Bd6r   2021 Apr 11, 1:29pm  

Patrick says
OK, I'm starting to like the guy in spite of Irish history.

There is an Irish Times article from last week which says that Philip never had any "gaffes" or said anything improper related to the Irish. He kept his temper in check when in Ireland...
17   Ceffer   2021 Apr 11, 1:38pm  

Rb6d says
He kept his temper in check when in Ireland...

He didn't want to get beaned with empty whiskey bottles (the Irish would never throw a bottle that still had whiskey).
18   Bd6r   2021 Apr 11, 1:41pm  

Ceffer says
He didn't want to get beaned with empty whiskey bottles (the Irish would never throw a bottle that still had whiskey).

or did not want to be blown up...

19   Patrick   2021 Apr 11, 4:23pm  

Such comments about Irish bombs invariably ignore the British military's decades of kidnapping and extra-judicial murder of anyone suspected of advocating a unified and independent Ireland.
20   Bd6r   2021 Apr 11, 4:37pm  

Patrick says
Such comments about Irish bombs invariably ignore the British military's decades of kidnapping and extra-judicial murder of anyone suspected of advocating a unified and independent Ireland.

I think the twatter commenter in picture above is just trolling and not being particularly serious.
BTW I am all for reunification of Ireland, independence for Basque country, Corsica, Scotland, etc. The smaller the countries, the less likely they will grow into oppressive regimes + there would be some historical justice served.
21   Patrick   2021 Apr 11, 6:10pm  

I agree. Smaller countries are likely to be less oppressive, and also usually much friendlier places because the people have somewhere they really belong to. They know who they are.
22   HeadSet   2021 Apr 11, 6:38pm  

Patrick says
I agree. Smaller countries are likely to be less oppressive, and also usually much friendlier places because the people have somewhere they really belong to. They know who they are.

Yep, which is why California should split into 2 states.
23   Ceffer   2021 Apr 12, 9:38am  

HeadSet says
Yep, which is why California should split into 2 states.




The San Andreas fault just isn't fast enough.

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