« prev   random   next »

13
0

I moved the the family from Earth to Mars and regretted it. Here are some key points every person should consider before drinking Musk's Kool-Aid

By HunterTits follow HunterTits   2021 Jan 26, 5:39pm 613 views   42 comments   watch   nsfw   quote   share    


A lot of people, including myself, took up Elon Musk's offer to colonize Mars because of the hype and the perception that it would just be like we all fantasized it was. My family and I found that to be not the case.

1) It Was NOT An All Inclusive Package

For a family of 4, we had to fork over $2 million for this trip. After selling our artificially high-priced Silicon Valley shack, cashed out our 401ks and IRAs, sold off all our stock options/RSUs and getting a $400k grant from the Biden Administration from money that was stolen from Red State idiots-who-think-their-vote-actually-counts-in-PRI-America, we barely got that plus another $100k left over.

But that wasn't enough! Because that $2 million only covers transportation and habitat in Musk Eisley (more on that below), everything else was a la carte. Food, oxygen, water, flight to the spaceport, you name it, we got nickled & dimed. In fact, by the time we reached Mars...before we even stepped out of the fuckin' lander, we were in hock to the tune of $300k to Musk Indentured Services, Martian LLC.

But because our 17year old daughter is hot, we were able to whore her out to colonial leaders to cut that down to $75k. But according to that contract, Chelsea will be servicing the Martian Elite for the next 10 years. Probably 20 given how her looks mutate away (more on that below also).

Suffice it to say, none of this shit was in our contract.

2) Musk Eisley Was Built W/O Radiation In Mind

There's no magnetic field generated by Mars and no ozone layer in the atmosphere, so deadly UV and cosmic radiation just pounds the surface like the Martian Elite routinely do Chelsea. NASA and other peer-reviewed science long determined that colonists would need at least 6 to 8 feet of Martian soil covering their habs in order to avoid the worst of it. But does Musk do 'science'? Fuck no. He built Musk Eisley all on the surface, for the most part.

I am not kidding. This is Musk Eisley:



And our unit was on the top floor of a 10 story building of the 'glass tower design'.

Suffice it to say, this did not bode well. Ever see The Hills Have Eyes? Well, that's our family.

Chelsea's looks didn't even last 5 years:

(Chelsea on an exchange student program to Iceland one year before we left earth)


(Chelsea after being on Mars 4 years, 7 months)


3) Nothing BUT Public Land

Turns out we don't even have property rights! Not according to the Outer Space Treaty of 1969. Musk promised us that his lawyers were going to secure a carve out for our colony, but nothing ever came from that.

4) Nowhere To Go

Oh, there's PLENTY of empty space for you to check out. But there are no snowy mountains, no raging rivers, and no Starbucks! Things don't change much in a huge seventy-hour-drive radius with the Rover. Since we love the outdoors — exploring, climbing, rafting — Mars was not our cup of tea.

5) Dishonesty

As noted in 1 in the above, we were lied to! And there is no Nanny State to save us, either! All we can do is bitch in this bupkiss article and hope it gets posted on Patrick.net.

God forbid I take any responsibility for doing any due diligence on my part.

6) I Ran Out Of Shit To Say

This is probably why I didn't get the freelance job to write the total hit piece, I moved my family from California to Austin, Texas, and regretted it. Here are 10 key points every person should consider before relocating.

« First    « Previous    Comments 3 - 42 of 42    Last »

3   KgK one   ignore (0)   2021 Jan 26, 5:56pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

nice satire on texas piece. Perfect images for the piece. How dare u use her for pic lol
4   ThreeBays   ignore (5)   2021 Jan 26, 8:03pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

That was pretty good. Cheers!
5   just_passing_through   ignore (8)   2021 Jan 26, 8:55pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Okay, this is brilliant enough to make Pat's site famous again.
6   Patrick   ignore (1)   2021 Jan 26, 8:58pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Use the "share" link at the top!
7   just_passing_through   ignore (8)   2021 Jan 26, 9:01pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Patrick says
Use the "share" link at the top!


That just opened chrome. I forgot I had chrome.
8   mostly reader   ignore (0)   2021 Jan 26, 9:16pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

HunterTits says
This is probably why I didn't get the freelance job to write the total hit piece, I moved my family from California to Austin, Texas, and regretted it. Here are 10 key points every person should consider before relocating.
LOL. When I saw that piece, that was exactly the thought that crossed my mind: "CA is acknowledging the threat and fighting it with PR work"
9   Patrick   ignore (1)   2021 Jan 26, 9:42pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

just_passing_through says
Patrick says
Use the "share" link at the top!


That just opened chrome. I forgot I had chrome.


Shit, link doesn't work right because of the apostrophe.

I need to fix so many things, but I'm pretty much toast in the evenings.
10   clambo   ignore (5)   2021 Jan 27, 6:47am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Mars can have water and oceans someday.

We just have to figure out how to bring the hydrogen and oxygen over from Jupiter.

Then clone some whales, bring algae, plankton and coral over to get things going.

It could happen 😉
11   MisdemeanorRebel   ignore (3)   2021 Jan 27, 7:34am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Fucking Awesome.

Underground yes, surface no. You'd need to burn rocks like no tomorrow to create an atmosphere and keep it from being swept away by the sun's radiation; there's no way to increase Mars' weak magnetic field with anything reasonably down the pike.
12   richwicks   ignore (4)   2021 Jan 27, 7:47am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

NoCoupForYou says
Underground yes, surface no. You'd need to burn rocks like no tomorrow to create an atmosphere and keep it from being swept away by the sun's radiation; there's no way to increase Mars' weak magnetic field with anything reasonably down the pike.


If we terraformed Mars somehow and moved a population there, I would bet within less than 3 generations, the humans there would adapt to the gravity and be sexually incompatible from Earthmen. It would be a new species quick. Probably would end up with 9 foot tall giants that would die in a full G, and would be weak and slight.
13   Shaman   ignore (2)   2021 Jan 27, 7:52am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

clambo says
We just have to figure out how to bring the hydrogen and oxygen over from Jupiter.


Much more feasible than you’d think! But we don’t need Jupiter for that. There are millions of comets just packed with water ice in the Kuiper Belt which rings our solar system out beyond Jupiter. Attach a couple rockets to some of these bad boys and get them moving towards the Red Planet. When they hit it will be pretty fucking devastating, but nobody lives on Mars so whatever! And the impacts will release hundreds of kilotons of energy which will melt those ice balls to water vapor which will spread across the planet increasing its atmosphere (which is really thin and mostly CO2) and giving the planet some weather. Maybe a hundred comets sent to Mars would build up the atmosphere substantially. 1000 comets and it would look totally different with small lakes or seas.
How much investment would this require? It’s hard to say, but it wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe 500 billion to one trillion. So half a Covid19 bail-out package!
14   richwicks   ignore (4)   2021 Jan 27, 7:57am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Shaman says
Much more feasible than you’d think! But we don’t need Jupiter for that. There are millions of comets just packed with water ice in the Kuiper Belt which rings our solar system out beyond Jupiter. Attach a couple rockets to some of these bad boys and get them moving towards the Red Planet. When they hit it will be pretty fucking devastating, but nobody lives on Mars so whatever! And the impacts will release hundreds of kilotons of energy which will melt those ice balls to water vapor which will spread across the planet increasing its atmosphere (which is really thin and mostly CO2) and giving the planet some weather.


The water vapor would just end up in space, and the energy would be tremendous. If a 10 km in diameter ice ball hit earth, most of life on Earth would be dead - depending on speed of course. If I were younger, I'd go through the calculation of dropping it from geosynchronous orbit, but I don't care enough to go through the math now - but I know it would be devastating.
15   Shaman   ignore (2)   2021 Jan 27, 8:23am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

richwicks says
The water vapor would just end up in space,


Mars does have gravity! Sure it’s like a third of Earth, but it’s enough to retain its own weak atmosphere. Adding to that should be possible. And yes it would be like nuking the planet repeatedly with non radioactive water. Should work tho right?
16   richwicks   ignore (4)   2021 Jan 27, 8:37am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Shaman says
Mars does have gravity! Sure it’s like a third of Earth, but it’s enough to retain its own weak atmosphere. Adding to that should be possible. And yes it would be like nuking the planet repeatedly with non radioactive water. Should work tho right?


I don't think the gravity would be enough to prevent the solar wind from blowing away the water vapor. That's why you need a magnetic field. But I don't really know if it would work or not. It would require a crapload of energy.

Won't happen in any of our lifetimes regardless - won't even be attempted.
17   clambo   ignore (5)   2021 Jan 27, 8:59am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

“You guys are always making with the negative waves man!”

Oh well, maybe Mars ain’t gonna have an ocean.

In “Robinson Crusoe on Mars” there was water, and rocks had air or O2 in them.
18   richwicks   ignore (4)   2021 Jan 27, 9:16am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

clambo says
In “Robinson Crusoe on Mars” there was water, and rocks had air or O2 in them.


Maybe Jupiter has a surface and life:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYOk9D0ZwVk
19   SunnyvaleCA   ignore (1)   2021 Jan 27, 12:02pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

The solution is clearly to move to Iceland.
20   socal2   ignore (1)   2021 Jan 27, 12:12pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

That's pretty funny and clever!

Even if exploring or colonizing Mars turns into a bust for all the reasons listed above, can't one argue that making Mars simply an aspirational goal has driven companies like SpaceX to dramatically re-think and innovate space travel with reusability of rocket boosters which has brought to price of satellite launches by hundreds of millions of dollars each?

If nothing else, the US is now benefitting by not having to pay Russians to send our astronauts up to space.
21   georgeliberte   ignore (0)   2021 Jan 27, 12:23pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Two things-
1. I think the cast of The Hills Have Eye are now my coworkers.
2. I pretty sure

is one of my exes (the rest all live in Texas).
22   rocketjoe79   ignore (1)   2021 Jan 27, 12:27pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Elon Musk after entering the Pearly Gates:

God: Welcome to Heaven Elon!
Elon: This looks like my successful Mars Colony!?
God: Where did you think I would put heaven? Sheesh, took you humans long enough! I put the Moon nearby Earth to use as a base. Figured it would be good practice with vacuum but plenty of resources like silicon, oxygen and even water. But then y'all visited and then ingored it! Thanks for making the direct approach work.
23   HunterTits   ignore (4)   2021 Jan 27, 5:37pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

clambo says
It could happen


Only a planetary magnetic field or an artificial equivalent can stop the cosmic rays from hitting the surface tho.
24   HunterTits   ignore (4)   2021 Jan 27, 5:40pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Hey @Patrick Got 12 upvotes on this so far, yet it isn't in the Best Comments. Is Best Comments going to show it next week or something?
25   Patrick   ignore (1)   2021 Jan 27, 5:48pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

@HunterTits That's because it's a post and not a comment.

It is near the top of most-liked posts, which is a tab near the top of the home page:

https://patrick.net/?order=likes
26   rocketjoe79   ignore (1)   2021 Jan 28, 10:22am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Anyone thinking of going to Mars should RTFM:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_trilogy
27   MisdemeanorRebel   ignore (3)   2021 Jan 28, 12:41pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

clambo says
Oh well, maybe Mars ain’t gonna have an ocean.

In “Robinson Crusoe on Mars” there was water, and rocks had air or O2 in them.


It could be possible to recreate an Atacama Desert/High Arctic Tundra out of it. But that would only be in selected bands. The solar winds would rip any substantial atmosphere off without a magnetic field shield, just not enough mass and internal convection going on.
28   Eric Holder   ignore (0)   2021 Jan 28, 12:43pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

rocketjoe79 says
Anyone thinking of going to Mars should


... think of it as committing to basically living in a can for many-many years. Thanks but no thanks.
29   just_passing_through   ignore (8)   2021 Jan 28, 10:20pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Eric Holder says
... think of it as committing to basically living in a can for many-many years. Thanks but no thanks.


This...

The soil is toxic as well. Like a superfund site.
30   HeadSet   ignore (2)   2021 Jan 29, 2:07pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

NoCoupForYou says
The solar winds would rip any substantial atmosphere off without a magnetic field shield, just not enough mass and internal convection going on.

The issue is far more lack of gravity to hold an atmosphere that lack of a magnetic field ripping it away. Venus has no magnetic field, and has quite a thick atmosphere despite being much closer to the sun and subject to much higher solar winds.
31   HunterTits   ignore (4)   2021 Jan 29, 4:02pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

HeadSet says
The issue is far more lack of gravity to hold an atmosphere that lack of a magnetic field ripping it away. Venus has no magnetic field, and has quite a thick atmosphere despite being much closer to the sun and subject to much higher solar winds.


Venus has near earthlike gravity (I think it is ~.9 gee), is why.
32   MisdemeanorRebel   ignore (3)   2021 Jan 29, 4:38pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

HeadSet says
The issue is far more lack of gravity to hold an atmosphere that lack of a magnetic field ripping it away. Venus has no magnetic field, and has quite a thick atmosphere despite being much closer to the sun and subject to much higher solar winds.



Venus is far more massive than Mars, however. I believe Venus and Earth are about equally massive, and Mars is only a third of either.
33   Patrick   ignore (1)   2021 Jan 29, 6:49pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

We should move Venus out of its orbit a bit farther from the sun to make it more habitable. It's possible.
34   HeadSet   ignore (2)   2021 Jan 29, 8:45pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Patrick says
We should move Venus out of its orbit a bit farther from the sun to make it more habitable. It's possible.


Not necessary. Venus would be inhabitable where it is if we could change the 98% CO2 atmosphere. Formidable task (maybe seed the high atmosphere with engineered plants), but minor compared with the energy of translation of moving a planet that size out of orbit. The erg requirement would take more energy than the Sun generates in a year.
35   HunterTits   ignore (4)   2021 Feb 2, 1:16pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

The 'starship' just blew up (again).
36   socal2   ignore (1)   2021 Feb 2, 1:31pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

HunterTits says
The 'starship' just blew up (again).


Yep - and they have SN10 already moved to the launch pad to try again later this month.
37   Shaman   ignore (2)   2021 Feb 2, 1:33pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Honestly, Mars is both a trap and a waste of time. We should be working hardest on near-Earth asteroid mining with the goal of sending building materials to either near-Earth orbit or cis-lunar orbit.
The mining could be partially robotic, but you’d most likely need a team of astronauts to guide and repair the robots on site. This would require a space ship to be assembled in Earth orbit that could support a two year mission to an asteroid and back. And it would have to have spin, as two years of no gravity would cripple or kill most people. So you’d need a habitat that spun around a central axis to provide some G-force.

The ore mined would contain everything needed to construct rockets and containers for payload, which could be directed back on a long arc towards Earth orbit. The material could be easily refined in space. Every kilogram of material produced this way would have a value in orbit around Earth of approximately at least $1000. One mission should be able to send one million metric tons back to Earth, resulting in a gross of 1 TRILLION DOLLARS.
And yes there would be buyers. Everyone would see the wild success of the mission and the space race for trillions would make the California Gold Rush look like a historical footnote.
38   MisdemeanorRebel   ignore (3)   2021 Feb 2, 2:16pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

HunterTits says
The 'starship' just blew up (again).



One engine failed, did the flop again perfectly. Not enough power for landing. Starship has to get the header tanks working after a big flop which non-reusable rockets don't have to bother with.

SLS finally had a testfire after 30 years of development and the engines shutdown long before planned. Whereas a year ago, Starship was only a non functional mockup.

In one year of dev, starship has had more test flights than Ares-SLS-SDHLV ever did, even though it's just engines strapped to the bottom of a late 70s big orange tank.
39   Eric Holder   ignore (0)   2021 Feb 2, 2:51pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Shaman says
This would require a space ship to be assembled in Earth orbit that could support a two year mission to an asteroid and back.


The name of the ship will be "Nostromo"....
40   georgeliberte   ignore (0)   2021 Feb 3, 11:21am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

I hired a lawyer to get a refund from Musk; he was recommended by the Clintons.
41   HunterTits   ignore (4)   2021 Feb 3, 5:28pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Shaman says
One mission should be able to send one million metric tons back to Earth, resulting in a gross of 1 TRILLION DOLLARS.


No it won't. Because all that will depress the prices those minerals go for. Supply & demand.
42   rocketjoe79   ignore (1)   2021 Feb 3, 6:33pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

HunterTits says
The 'starship' just blew up (again).


This is the Way.

Compilation of Falcon Rocket Follies:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9FzWPObsWA

« First    « Previous    Comments 3 - 42 of 42    Last »


about   best comments   contact   one year ago   suggestions