patrick.net

PORTLAND, OR—Hank Drake owns a woodworking shop on the outskirts of Portland, Hank's Planks. But Drake is in danger of losing everything now that he was caught committing a hate crime: painting over a BLM mural lovingly painted on his storefront by peaceful protesters last week.

Horrified witnesses say the man callously took a roller and painted right over the beautifully spray-painted mural on his business. The police were called and arrived immediately since they weren't busy fighting Antifa and protecting local businesses or anything like that.

Drake said he was just "cleaning up vandalism," which is a well-known racist dog whistle.

"What can we do against such reckless hate?" asked the judge at Drake's arraignment. "Will the whole courtroom join me in a moment of staring at this evil man and just silently judging him for being such a hateful individual?"

After the moment of silence, she shouted, "Shame! Shame! Shame!"

Drake was sentenced to 8 weeks at a reeducation center and was ordered to pay reparations to the graffiti artist whose work he had vandalized.