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HELL—Daryl Olson was very careful to only advocate for the most progressive politics and be an activist for all the popular new social justice causes and whatnot, so he was very surprised to find after he died that he went to hell.

“Well, this can’t be correct,” said Olson as he looked at the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels. “I did everything right. I was an activist for all the good causes and screamed at all the bad people online -- and sometimes in person.”

“I know, it’s crazy, right?” said Satan. “You were on the right side of history -- all the history books will say so. To the world, you’re a really great guy.”

“So why am I here?” Olson asked. “Does that God guy know how this is going to make Him look?”

“Yeah, He doesn’t really follow or care about politics,” Satan explained.

“Well, that’s wrong,” Olson said. “There are a lot of important issues out there -- more important than all that Bible stuff He focuses on.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, dude,” Satan answered.

“Know what I’m going to do?” Olson said. “I’m going to start a protest.”

Satan nodded. “Sure. Do that.”

“Is there a place to get posterboard around here?”

“No.”