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Recently Pardoned Turkey Found Dead After Claiming To Have Dirt On Hillary Clinton

By OccasionalCortex follow OccasionalCortex   2019 Nov 27, 11:26am 242 views   11 comments   watch   nsfw   quote   share    


WASHINGTON, D.C.—A turkey recently pardoned by President Trump was found dead after claiming to have dirt on the Clintons, sources at the FBI confirmed today.

The official cause of death was suicide, though the bullet wounds were in the back of the turkey's head and the bird lacked opposable thumbs with which to operate a firearm.

The turkey had been publicly pardoned for the crime of being delicious and set free by Trump in a popular White House Thanksgiving tradition. Shortly after being released, the turkey confirmed its possession of "credible" information that would lead to the indictment of Hillary Clinton, posting on the bird's social media account that it was a good thing Trump had pardoned the turkey, so the world could find the truth out about the Clintons.

Metro police discovered the turkey's body later, shot twice in the back of the head and stabbed in the back. There was a nearby handwritten note confirming that the death was "not fowl play."




https://babylonbee.com/news/recently-pardoned-turkey-found-dead-after-claiming-to-have-dirt-on-hillary-clinton
1   Ceffer   ignore (5)   2019 Nov 27, 12:36pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I especially like it when the coroners' reports on IHLlary's victims read "Suicide By Knobby Strap On"
2   jazz_music   ignore (15)   2019 Nov 27, 2:34pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

This story is just as good as any of those other conspiracy theories.

Absolutely.

Maybe better because it hints at great truth.
3   OccasionalCortex   ignore (5)   2019 Nov 27, 3:33pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

jazz_music says
This story is just as good as any of those other conspiracy theories.

Absolutely.

Maybe better because it hints at great truth.


It's satire. But then again lefties do not know that that is.
4   HEYYOU   ignore (47)   2019 Nov 27, 3:39pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Don't piss off the Clintons.
5   jazz_music   ignore (15)   2019 Nov 27, 4:32pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

OccasionalCortex says
jazz_music says
This story is just as good as any of those other conspiracy theories.

Absolutely.

Maybe better because it hints at great truth.


It's satire. But then again lefties do not know that that is.
Ahh, moar divisiveness, more hate.

That’s the way to heaven on earth don’t you know?

Any conspiracies? I must have conspiracies or lose membership in the brotherhood of butt hurt white male victimhood
6   HEYYOU   ignore (47)   2019 Nov 27, 4:40pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

The turkey was found in the basement of Clintons' pedophile Pizza Joint.
7   TrumpingTits   ignore (3)   2019 Nov 28, 12:45pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

jazz_music says
Ahh, moar divisiveness, more hate.

That’s the way to heaven on earth don’t you know?

Any conspiracies? I must have conspiracies or lose membership in the brotherhood of butt hurt white male victimhood


Stop trolling.
8   Ceffer   ignore (5)   2019 Nov 28, 2:07pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

OccasionalCortex says
Dirt On Hillary Clinton


Garden supply stores have contracted with her to bag and sell it she has so much.
10   OccasionalCortex   ignore (5)   2020 Jan 31, 2:55pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

georgeliberte says
https://babylonbee.com/news/cdc-people-dirt-clintons-843-greater-risk-suicide


11   Tim Aurora   ignore (1)   2020 Feb 1, 10:07am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

The question is , how after he was dead did the right wingers claim that he had dirt on Hillary

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