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Thunderdome Nearly 40 Percent of American Workers Masturbate on the Job

By zzyzzx following x   2017 Mar 30, 12:06pm 2,247 views   14 comments   watch   nsfw   quote     share    


http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/nearly-40-percent-american-workers-masturbate-job

Aside from crying silently at our desks, avoiding eye contact with our coworkers and occasionally doing our jobs, how are we passing the time at work? The short answer is, with masturbation—at least, according to a poll from Time Out New York. The (fairly informal online) survey found that across gender and sexuality, 39 percent of Americans masturbate while on the job.

Time Out writer Jyllian Anthony found that people’s reasons for masturbating while working—not that people necessarily always have a specific reason—differ pretty wildly. Boredom and stress relief ranked highly. But the list goes on:

"I’m just a horny lady,” one woman wrote….“It was usually to cure my massive hangover,” one gent replied. “I’d pretend to have stomach problems, crank one out in like four minutes and be back to slinging margaritas.” Think about that next time you’re at the bar. Another said, “If you get on a sex app like Grindr, and you have guys asking you to take naughty pictures and telling you what they want to do to you, it tends to…distract you.” People do it it in private bathrooms, but also ones with multiple stalls (“I can masturbate rather quietly,” said one responder).

A recent Ravishly article pointed to a 2014 analysis conducted by DeskTime, a productivity measuring app. “The most productive people work for 52 minutes, then break for 17 minutes,” researchers found. The list of recommended ways to spend that 17-minute respite included eating, talking to colleagues and watching cat videos. (“It’s proven that by looking at cute pictures of cats and dogs, you become more productive,” they write.) Masturbation doesn’t actually appear among the suggestions, but maybe it’s implied.

Vice did a recent survey of people who admitted masturbating at work, and one woman who said she’d indulged as an "act of rebellion" offered a contemplative reason against self-loving in the office. "Not because of morals or propriety or whatever," she stated, "but because masturbation isn't something you want to do hastily at the same place you hate going to every day."

Obligatory:

#sex #masturbate

1   Dan8267   ignore (3)   2017 Mar 30, 12:18pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

zzyzzx says

Thunderdome Nearly 40 Percent of American Workers Masturbate on the Job

How does that explain CIC? He has no job and spends all day wacking off PatNet.

2   Dan8267   ignore (3)   2017 Mar 30, 12:20pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

zzyzzx says

“It’s proven that by looking at cute pictures of cats and dogs, you become more productive,” they write.

Works for me.

3   anonymous   ignore (null)   2017 Mar 30, 12:24pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I'm not buying the "across genders" part. I'd guess that half of guys have whacked it at work.

4   Dan8267   ignore (3)   2017 Mar 30, 12:37pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

errc says

I'm not buying the "across genders" part. I'd guess that half of guys have whacked it at work.

I'm not buying any of it. Teenagers and young adults are horny all the time. By the time your middle age, you need someone to entice you, and your typical coworker ain't going to do that.

Most people at work are middle age just because of what constitutes work age. Maybe people just out of college and on their first jobs are doing this, but not anyone over 25, certainly not anyone over 30.

One of the nice things about middle age is that although you can still enjoy sex, the sex drive is not overwhelming. You are no longer young, dumb, and full of cum. You can think straight. So, I think the article is complete b.s.

5   anonymous   ignore (null)   2017 Mar 30, 12:44pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Women don't masterbate the way men do. When women are horny, they find a guy to dick them down. For a guy, a quick tug is no big thing. See tits. Pull pud. Get on with life. Very simple. It just doesn't work like that for broads

6   anonymous   ignore (null)   2017 Mar 30, 12:49pm   ↑ like (3)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I would bet women masturbate more often at work than men do.

--------

I'd book that bet

The only thing I have going against me is that the female "workplace " is much more conducive to jerking off, where as most men have to actually work at work

7   Ceffer   ignore (2)   2017 Mar 30, 2:07pm   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I just wish they would keep their sopping wet panties off the bathroom fixtures and use the dildo parkers properly.

8   CovfefeButDeadly   ignore (5)   2017 Mar 30, 2:35pm   ↑ like (3)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Guilty. Big tits get me worked up.

9   Blurtman   ignore (1)   2017 Mar 30, 2:55pm   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

But how many people have come down from an acid trip, to find out that they were taking a shit on the carpet in the company's conference room, with a gathering crowd of gawking co-workers? I'd say at least 10%.

10   P N Dr Lo R   ignore (0)   2017 Mar 30, 3:05pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

"The 36-year-old accountant, suffers from a chemical imbalance"

Good 'ol chemical imbalance, seemingly the default for everything. Sad, already a nut at 36.

11   zzyzzx   ignore (1)   2017 Mar 30, 3:16pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Ironman says

Thank God you have Youtube!!!

Fixed:
Thank God you have PornHub!!!

12   NuttBoxer   ignore (2)   2017 Mar 30, 3:32pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

errc says

I'm not buying the "across genders" part. I'd guess that half of guys have whacked it at work.

According to that recent post here, women watch more porn on their phones. And thanks to women's lib, their horny, porno obsessed hormones are probably raging at work. What do you think their first two fingers are up to while that's going on?

13   NuttBoxer   ignore (2)   2017 Mar 30, 3:35pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

... And yes, guilty. Nothing gets me harder than some patnetter getting #triggered by my trolling.

Sometimes I can't hold it and splooge right on the phone screen, covering their rantings with my steaming manseed. There's not enough liquid in semen to damage your phones HW right?


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