patrick.net

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Comptroller says

It's fucked as of Thursday. I've got 9000 lbs of yams in the basement for trading. Close to a ton of 30 caliber ammo and 7 tons of dynamite.

I'm ready. The wives are ready. Kids are ready.

CANNIBAL ANARCHY!

Here we come!

Good man!

U need plastic bags too unless u anticipate incinerating the uneaten, bones, and guts. Extra salt makes for tasty kidney. Lye, to cure the broiled bowels. Handy grill forks avoids handling raw liver, heart, or spleen. Rambo knife to skin hairy prairie oysters. Dry-board to track ur game. Double points for a realturd.

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Comptroller says

It's fucked as of Thursday. I've got 9000 lbs of yams in the basement for trading. Close to a ton of 30 caliber ammo and 7 tons of dynamite.

I'm ready. The wives are ready. Kids are ready.

CANNIBAL ANARCHY!

Here we come!

A common prepper mistake- too many Yams, not enough sweet potatoes

You'll also want to change your name back to Shostakovich or somethng other than comptroller lest the zombie hordes think you are some sort of government official

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Comptroller says

It's fucked as of Thursday. I've got 9000 lbs of yams in the basement for trading. Close to a ton of 30 caliber ammo and 7 tons of dynamite.

How many Gatling guns do you have set up on your perimeter?

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Comptroller says

smaulgld says

A common prepper mistake- too many Yams, not enough sweet potatoes

Right. A diverse diet is a sound one. Thanks!

What about the name?

Well, with the U.S. soon to take over the spot of world's largest producer of oil and gas from Russia, and a $16.? trillion economy, and with the world's highest GDP, kind of blows away the OP.

Not to mention blowing that whole "can't borrow your way to prosperity"/sky is falling mantra routine all to hell.

I know, buy gold, and the end is near. LOL

Mish talked about this the other day.

The term is irrelevant. The U.S. has an advantage through the trade deficit. Because china is stuck with dollars.

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Comptroller says

It's fucked as of Thursday. I've got 9000 lbs of yams in the basement for trading. Close to a ton of 30 caliber ammo and 7 tons of dynamite.

I'm ready. The wives are ready. Kids are ready.

CANNIBAL ANARCHY!

Here we come!

What, no Claymores?

Tisk tisk...

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Comptroller says

It's fucked as of Thursday. I've got 9000 lbs of yams in the basement for trading. Close to a ton of 30 caliber ammo and 7 tons of dynamite.

I'm ready. The wives are ready. Kids are ready.

CANNIBAL ANARCHY!

Here we come!

AF,

By .30 cal ammo, I assume you mean this:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2a/YM-museum-Browning-M1919-1.jpg

And NOT this:
http://chiggerridge.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Winchester-M1-carbine.-cal.-.30-carbine.jpg

Right?

New Renter says

What, no Claymores?

Tisk tisk...

My personal preference is for land mines, since claymores require some human interaction.

lozzyzzx says

New Renter says

What, no Claymores?

Tisk tisk...

My personal preference is for land mines, since claymores require some human interaction.

No more so than landmines, once to lay 'em, another to trip 'em.

Facebooksux says

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Comptroller says

It's fucked as of Thursday. I've got 9000 lbs of yams in the basement for trading. Close to a ton of 30 caliber ammo and 7 tons of dynamite.

I'm ready. The wives are ready. Kids are ready.

CANNIBAL ANARCHY!

Here we come!

AF,

By .30 cal ammo, I assume you mean this:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2a/YM-museum-Browning-M1919-1.jpg

And NOT this:

http://chiggerridge.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Winchester-M1-carbine.-cal.-.30-carbine.jpg

Right?

No, 30 cal is acceptable to describe minigun ammo:
http://www.navweaps.com/Weapons/WNUS_30-cal_GAU17.htm

You guys have it ALL WRONG!

You are thinking Cold War survivalist nonsense. All that crap about building up a hoard of canned food and guns, and being prepared to kill all your neighbors even nice Mrs. Grundy, just so little Freddy can have some back-bacon.

The assumption of Cold War survivalists is the same as Drax in Moonraker. You only have to ride out a short apocalypse in your glittering siege castle, then return to pristine earth to rule without opposition.

PatNetters should know better. We are headed back to feudalism, you need to learn about bending the knee and swearing fealty to a warlord who will protect your peasant family. Rennaissance festivals would be better preparation than a trip through the Costco aisle picking up bags of rice. And age is not an asset under feudalism, if you are a Boomer you are DONE.

Vicente says

We are headed back to feudalism, you need to learn about bending the knee and swearing fealty to a warlord who will protect your peasant family.

We want to be the warlord(s) Can't do that without an arsenal and a full larder.

Play your cards right and we just might keep you around as a jester though. You can juggle, right?

New Renter says

We want to be the warlord(s) Can't do that without an arsenal and a full larder.

Don't kid yourself.

Warlords don't do their own killing. If you are a preacher or charismatic, or born into a noble family, you can inspire loyalty from expendable thugs who do all the killing for you. Bunker builders typically lack the crowd manipulation qualities for this job. A well-stocked bunker is just another stockpile with a target painted on it.

In feudalism, the lone peasant no matter how dug in, is either among the first victims of the ravaging hordes or the fastest to dump/trade all their stuff for protection of the castle. Skills are far more useful than stuff.

And the most important skill by far is thunderdome construction and architecture skills. I much rather be a wandering scavenger then a cog in some shitty post apocalyptic society that would probably end in mutiny in less than a week's time.

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Comptroller says

REALTORS are extra fun to eat live from the toes up.

The Paleo Diet.

Vicente says

New Renter says

We want to be the warlord(s) Can't do that without an arsenal and a full larder.

Don't kid yourself.

Yeah, anyone thinking that a stack of long guns is going to protect their family is sorely mistaken. The roving warlords will have access to full military hardware and child soldiers.

If you don't already have access to grenades, mortars, RPGs, tanks, APCs, etc. you have zero chance of becoming a warlord. Your full larder however will go very nicely on your local warlords stock pile.

Vicente says

You are thinking Cold War survivalist nonsense. All that crap about building up a hoard of canned food and guns, and being prepared to kill all your neighbors....

...You only have to ride out a short apocalypse in your glittering siege castle, then return to pristine earth to rule without opposition.

PatNetters should know better. We are headed back to feudalism, you need to learn about bending the knee and swearing fealty to a warlord who will protect your peasant family. Rennaissance festivals would be better preparation than a trip through the Costco aisle picking up bags of rice. And age is not an asset under feudalism, if you are a Boomer you are DONE.

I recently watched a couple episodes of "Doomsday Bunkers" on NetFlix and this is pretty much the conclusion that I came to.

The survivalists -- or "prepers" as they prefer to be called, in order to sound less crazy -- seem to have this overriding sentiment of "fuck-you, I got my bunker for my family only and I will kill anyone who gets too close." They seem to totally miss the point that people survive in groups, and once they run out of food -- assuming that the roving hordes have not already cracked open their bunker -- they will emerge into a world where they are in direct competition with large well armed groups that survived the shit-storm without a bunker.

Also, I don't think that our return to feudalism is going to be a quick process where one can easily hide underground for 6 or so months to avoid the transition. It is going to be long, slow over the course of years. Once they have eaten through their supplies they better know how to grow yams, and enough of them so that their local warlord's cut does not leave them starving.

leo707 says

If you don't already have access to grenades, mortars, RPGs, tanks, APCs, etc. you have zero chance of becoming a warlord. Your full larder however will go very nicely on your local warlords stock pile.

Tell that to the Mormons:

http://articles.latimes.com/2008/dec/28/news/adme-foodstorage28

Of course if you are clever you'll set up an easily found larder full of expired but mislabeled-as-current canned goods. Nothing takes down a warlord and his army like a little botulism.

leo707 says

they will emerge into a world where they are in direct competition with large well armed groups that survived the shit-storm without a bunker.

Well THAT depends on location. The "preper" in rural Idaho will have more to worry from grizzlies and winter than petty warlords.

epitaph says

And the most important skill by far is thunderdome construction and architecture skills.

Right on, Aunty never broke a fingernail! She needed guys like this:

New Renter says

Tell that to the Mormons:

I would say the Mormons would probably help other Mormons instead of turning into every man for himself. I think they would fare better than individualist preppers in a real apocalypse but still they'd be a big fat target for raiders. The core delusion is same as most other religious cults that they WELCOME the end times and they just have to go through a little troubles before good things naturally happen to the chosen.

New Renter says

Well THAT depends on location. The "preper" in rural Idaho will have more to worry from grizzlies and winter than petty warlords.

Don't know anything about Idaho have to take your word for it.

My brother's favorite song was "A Country Boy Can Survive" by Hank Williams Jr. He watches Survivor religiously, tried to get on the show. No shortage of relatives who had owned gas masks and all sorts of other preparations for Soviet attack. I read the Anarchist Cookbook and military manuals on guerrilla warfare when I was like 10. I was thoroughly steeped in 80's survivalism as a kid. So I know about the mentality. Now that I'm outside it I see how deluded a lot of it is. Half my family couldn't survive any protracted period without modern medicine.

I doubt the world will end if the dollar is not the de facto reserve currency anymore. In fact the world may be better of without any single "reserve" currency ;)

New Renter says

Of course if you are clever you'll set up an easily found larder full of expired but mislabeled-as-current canned goods. Nothing takes down a warlord and his army like a little botulism.

This sounds like inverse of a famous Twilight Zone episode:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Old_Man_in_the_Cave

New Renter says

Nothing takes down a warlord and his army like a little botulism.

I thought you'd go for raw milk ;)

mell says

New Renter says

Nothing takes down a warlord and his army like a little botulism.

I thought you'd go for raw milk ;)

Now now, no need to to go for the big guns...yet.

Vicente says

I read the Anarchist Cookbook and military manuals on guerrilla warfare when I was like 10. I

Me too. I was very disappointed to find out banannadine was a hoax.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananadine

Thankfully I didn't find out the hard way. It did however make me question what else the author got wrong.

Vicente says

New Renter says

Tell that to the Mormons:

I would say the Mormons would probably help other Mormons instead of turning into every man for himself. I think they would fare better than individualist preppers in a real apocalypse but still they'd be a big fat target for raiders. The core delusion is same as most other religious cults that they WELCOME the end times and they just have to go through a little troubles before good things naturally happen to the chosen.

Nope - Mormons are very good at sharing when the shit hits the fan:

The efficiency of the Mormon welfare apparatus is really legendary. As early as the beginnings of the 20th century, an American writer said, "The Mormon Church operates with the efficiency of the German Weirmacht." This efficiency is seen at its best in moments of natural disasters such as the Teton Dam disaster of 1976 when over a billion dollars' worth of damage occurred, and almost overnight almost 35,000, 45,000 Latter-day Saints were marshaled into forces and deployed to make order out of chaos and provide emergency relief.

In recent years especially, those relief efforts have been extended to not just members of the church, but anybody who's in the midst of a disaster or crisis. In the past 20 years alone, the church has responded to over 150 major humanitarian crises around the world. They have provided relief and funds in locations as disparate as Kosovo, North Korea, Mozambique and Zimbabwe. There's hardly a place on the earth where they haven't been seen, providing relief and assistance, and it's often through other, more established channels, like the Red Cross or the Salvation Army, but very often, as was the case in Africa, renting their own helicopters to speed relief to areas that were remote and hard to reach. ...

http://www.pbs.org/mormons/themes/humanitarian.html

Vicente says

The core delusion is same as most other religious cults that they WELCOME the end times and they just have to go through a little troubles before good things
naturally happen to the chosen.

Well said.

You understand the mentality of hard-core religion perfectly. I know the mentality well, since I was raised in a far-right Christian sect.

New Renter says

No, 30 cal is acceptable to describe minigun ammo:

http://www.navweaps.com/Weapons/WNUS_30-cal_GAU17.htm

Ah, I see. I also saw this bad boy on that page:

http://www.navweaps.com/Weapons/WNUS_25mm_mk38.htm

I HONESTLY don't know which one I like more. With the 25mm you don't need head shots since one round will obliterate any land-dwelling creature on the planet.

However, can't beat the RPM of the minigun.

New Renter says

Vicente says

We are headed back to feudalism, you need to learn about bending the knee and swearing fealty to a warlord who will protect your peasant family.

We want to be the warlord(s) Can't do that without an arsenal and a full larder.

Play your cards right and we just might keep you around as a jester though. You can juggle, right?

Food taster. We need a food taster/poison lackey.

Facebooksux says

Food taster. We need a food taster/poison lackey.

That's actually a really choice gig I think. Right up until it isn't.

Vicente says

Facebooksux says

Food taster. We need a food taster/poison lackey.

That's actually a really choice gig I think. Right up until it isn't.

A food taster isn't useful against slow poisons unless you want to constantly be eating Monday meatloaf on Friday.

New Renter says

Vicente says

Facebooksux says

Food taster. We need a food taster/poison lackey.

That's actually a really choice gig I think. Right up until it isn't.

A food taster isn't useful against slow poisons unless you want to constantly be eating Monday meatloaf on Friday.

True, the Russians will fuck your shit up with some Polonium.

However, since we're talking about cannibal anarchy, I'm assuming the Realturd zombies don't have access to such advanced techniques.

Facebooksux says

New Renter says

Vicente says

Facebooksux says

Food taster. We need a food taster/poison lackey.

That's actually a really choice gig I think. Right up until it isn't.

A food taster isn't useful against slow poisons unless you want to constantly be eating Monday meatloaf on Friday.

True, the Russians will fuck your shit up with some Polonium.

However, since we're talking about cannibal anarchy, I'm assuming the Realturd zombies don't have access to such advanced techniques.

Nah, just use the time honored tried and true: Arsenic!