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Well this is one way to do a for sale by owner

By leo707 following x   2012 Jul 20, 4:06am 10,579 views   25 comments   watch   nsfw   quote     share    


http://www.greatfamilyhome.com/index.html

Beyond the amusing marketing, I wish that every home for sale had this much info on it.

1   someone else   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 4:13am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Really well done!

As the sign suggests..... we offer for sale, our wonderful, cozy, slightly-retro bungalow located just a stones throw from the heart of Portland, in Beaverton, Oregon.

We did everything right. Married ten years. Two kids: one perfect boy, one bouncy, perfect baby girl. We had almost no debt outside of our cars and we bought a house.... but, as with many marriages, our story ends in divorce. I'm not sure how this all happened... but, all I can is that as soon as your husband/wife starts using new texts languages like :/, or starts talking to you like a college kid.... check your phone bill - you're probably going to be in for a surprise. For me that surprise came in the form of a 22 year old college student who likes yoga... and, other people's husbands.

Well, I liked him too .... and I'm sure one day I'll like him again. lol - So, I guess I can't blame her too much, right?

This whole thing happened so fast (started in March, 2012), and while it has been the darkest hours of my life so far, it has also been filled with wonderful friends, neighbors and family who have helped in so many ways. It's the death of my marriage and the family I had as I knew it... but, that's all. I know that sounds crazy, but at some point you have to put the brakes on and realize that worse things are happening to someone else right now as you're reading this. As my wise Grandmother always say's, "Jews in Auschwitz would love to have your problems....". And she's right (aren't Grandma's always right?). This isn't the worse that could happen to me. Sure I'm angry, and every bit as sad as the sign suggests... but I'm also equally grateful for the life I do have and I know that the best the way to more forward for all of us is to focus on that. Hence my quirky marketing For Sale By Owner plan. :)

2   leo707   ignore (1)   2012 Jul 20, 4:17am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   flag        

I wonder though when the NAR is going to send her a cease and desist for not using the ® after Realtor®.

Realtor Type Facts

Beds: 3
Baths: 1
Sqft: 1,144*
...

3   PockyClipsNow   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 4:28am   ↑ like (3)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I could use some tips about how to bag a 22 yo.

4   someone else   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 4:37am   ↑ like (3)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Apparently you should take a yoga class!

5   TechGromit   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 5:03am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

At my age the only way I'm hooking up with a 22 year old girl is with Chloroform and duct tape. :)

6   B.A.C.A.H.   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 5:13am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Techie,
You ought to be very careful about sharing such thoughts you have on the internet.

TechGromit says

At my age the only way I'm hooking up with a 22 year old girl is with Chloroform and duct tape. :)

7   leo707   ignore (1)   2012 Jul 20, 6:42am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   flag        

If I was single I don't think I would want to date the type of person who would date someone almost twice their age.

8   zzyzzx   ignore (1)   2012 Jul 20, 10:16am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        


Really well done!

I'd say that the husband did pretty well.

9   PockyClipsNow   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 10:19am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Yoga class! of course!

But how not to pass gas during the relaxation? Thats a deal killer right there.

12   someone else   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 10:27am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Yes, I've heard that yoga classes are very farty, not only because of the positions, but also because the class is filled with vegetarian bean and lentil-eating types.

Good to know there is a technological solution. Should be required attire.

13   CrazyMan   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 10:30am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Lucky guy :)

B.A.C.A.H. says

Techie,
You ought to be very careful about sharing such thoughts you have on the internet.

You're kinda new to the whole internet thing and how it works exactly, aren't you ;)

14   PockyClipsNow   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 10:33am   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

1. Sign up for Yoga class
2. Don the 'NoFartyPants' pants.
3. Bag a 22 yo!

THANK YOU EVERYONE!

15   CrazyMan   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 10:34am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

You should probably be thin and good looking too.

/sorry to burst your bubble

16   PockyClipsNow   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 10:35am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Also its probaby best to shut the eff up about RE, the fed reserve, and intrest rates around a 22 yo.

(yet another tip!)

17   leo707   ignore (1)   2012 Jul 20, 10:38am   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   flag        

CrazyMan says

You should probably be thin and good looking too.

That can easily be replaced by simply being rich.

Well, I guess he does look thin...

18   CrazyMan   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 10:42am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Indeed, rich works too.

I know this is morbid, but when she died I remembered thinking to myself "well, she finally got her wish to be thin".

19   PockyClipsNow   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 10:58am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

And they lived happily ever after!

20   someone else   ignore (0)   2012 Jul 20, 11:04am   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I admire Anna Nicole Smith. She knew exactly what she was doing.

And I've heard that J. Howard Marshall died laughing, because he knew what he was doing too. He just wanted to piss off the family members that were hungrily waiting for their inheritance.

21   HEY YOU   ignore (7)   2012 Jul 20, 5:44pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I stopped clicking like. I enjoyed all the comments.

22   Dan8267   ignore (3)   2012 Jul 22, 5:25am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Size: 1,144 sq. ft.
Built: 1949
Lot Size: 0.17 acres
Taxes: $2,108.00/yr
Location: Oregon
Price: $169,000

I'd rather have the 22-year-old co-ed.

Size: 36C
Built: 1990
Butt Size: petite
Downside: Like the house, she's a rapidly depreciating asset. Best to rent.

23   Dan8267   ignore (3)   2012 Jul 22, 5:34am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

PockyClipsNow says

I could use some tips about how to bag a 22 yo.


Apparently you should take a yoga class!

Oh, yoga! I've been taking Yoda classes.

24   zzyzzx   ignore (1)   2012 Jul 22, 11:10pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   flag        

robertoaribas says

I love Yoga.

Has doing the yoga thing worked for you yet? How many 22 year olds have you bagged so far from yoga?

25   zzyzzx   ignore (1)   2012 Jul 22, 11:11pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   flag        

leoj707 says

If I was single I don't think I would want to date the type of person who would date someone almost twice their age.


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