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Breaking News: Ken Ham of "Answers in Genesis" Awarded Athism's Highest Honor


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2012 Jan 27, 1:48am   1,410 views  0 comments

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Hebron, KY: Ken Ham, President of the young-earth creationist organization Answers in Genesis, has been awarded Russell Award, the American Atheist Society’s highest honor. The AAS conferred the coveted award to Ken Ham for his “outstanding contributions to the cause of Atheism in the United States and the World.” The Award is named after noted 20th century atheist Bertrand Russell.
“Ken Ham has achieved what most atheists can only dream about: turning large numbers of young people away from Christianity and toward atheism,” said Max Hilbert, president of the American Atheist Society. “We've tried to win converts using the Problem of Evil, the ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’, and the Flew-Wisdom parable; but those arguments just don’t get much traction among the faithful,” Hilbert said. “We’ve found it's far more effective to expose Christians to Ken Ham’s assertion that, in order to be a Christian, they must believe that dinosaurs lived with humans 6,000 years ago and were strict vegetarians.”
Ken Ham learned of the news Thursday when Max Hilbert called him at the Answers in Genesis headquarters in Hebron, KY to congratulate. On the phone, Ham seemed unsure how to respond. After a long pause, Ken Ham shouted, “you evolutionists can’t know anything about the Universe without a prior commitment to Jesus Christ and the Bible! To understand anything about reality, you must pre-suppose the truth of God’s Word! We have nothing more to discuss!” Ham then hung up. Several subsequent requests for an interview have been ignored.
Hilbert described Ken Ham’s behavior during the call as “absolutely crucial” to the cause of atheism. “To free young minds from the clutches of Christianity, they must be convinced people like Ham are crackpots,” said Hilbert. “What’s more utterly bizarre than the assertion that Christians are capable of observing the world around them? Sheesh, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried! Thank God…er …thank evolution for Ken Ham!” said Hilbert.
When asked why the prestigious Russell Award was given to Ken Ham rather than the other young-earth creationists, Hilbert gave several reasons. “Ham probably has the most influence of all the young-earth creationists”, Hilbert explained, “[Ham] was able to raise millions of dollars from his followers to build a Creation Museum that shows all death and predatory behavior as the result of divine retribution. I mean, this is great stuff. And He constantly says ‘millions of years’ destroys Christianity. I didn’t even know an old universe could destroy Christianity until I visited Ham’s museum. I thought to myself, ‘wow, this guy deserves some kind of award.’”
Kent Hovind, another prominent young-earth creationist, was also nominated for the Russell Award. Hovind is currently serving time in a federal prison for tax evasion, having claimed exemption from all taxation on the grounds that all money is God's money. Hilbert explained that, while he believes Hovind is exactly the kind of batshit crazy nutjob that could help the atheist cause, it wouldn’t be proper to associate the Russell Award with a convicted criminal.
Ron Donnelly, the outspoken atheist recipient of last year’s Russell Award, admitted he once had occasional doubts about atheism that lurked in his mind until he visited the Creation Museum. “Previously, in my darker moments, I would sometimes wonder to myself, ‘What if it’s true? What if Jesus really is God in the Flesh…basically living proof of God’s existence? What if God really did come to earth and do some amazing miracles in public…like we atheists have been saying God should do if he’s real?’” Donnelly said. “But after learning [at the Creation Museum] that Christianity requires the entire geologic column to be the result of Noah’s flood a few thousand years ago; I wasn’t all that worried about Christianity anymore.”

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