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Funny picture thread

By zzyzzx follow zzyzzx   2011 Dec 9, 1:03am 472,493 views   2,649 comments   watch   nsfw   quote   share    






#humor

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2612   Tenpoundbass   ignore (15)   2020 May 8, 11:56am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

This is why I live in a detachable house.

2614   HeadSet   ignore (3)   2020 May 8, 2:11pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

This is why I live in a detachable house.

A "detachable" house? A Sikorsky Skycrane helicopter can move a detached section of your house to a temporary new location?
2615   Tenpoundbass   ignore (15)   2020 May 8, 2:17pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Patrick says


Perfect name for a Quantum Computer programming language.

Think the unthinkable with Itheberg.
2616   SunnyvaleCA   ignore (1)   2020 May 8, 3:40pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

HeadSet says
This is why I live in a detachable house.

A "detachable" house? A Sikorsky Skycrane helicopter can move a detached section of your house to a temporary new location?
"Detachable house" is a euphemism for a trailer — can be detached from foundation and wheeled to a different trailer park.
2617   rd6B   ignore (1)   2020 May 8, 7:05pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

SunnyvaleCA says
"Detachable house" is a euphemism for a trailer — can be detached from foundation and wheeled to a different trailer park.

How's redneck different from everyone else?
Our cars are on wheels, house rests on bricks, but for redneck it is the other way around.

A few other TX expressions:

He’s all hat and no cattle (have heard this about Bush Jr).
He chamber-of-commerced it (boasted).
She could start a fight in an empty house.
He’d argue with a wooden Indian.
Busy as a one-legged man at an ass-kicking convention.
He’s so country he thinks a seven-course meal is a possum and a six-pack.
He just fell off the watermelon truck.
Better to keep your mouth shut and seem a fool than to open it and remove all doubt (applies to 110% of patnetters).
She is more likely to shake than rattle.
He’ll squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams.
Poor as a lizard-eating cat.
Hasn’t got a pot to pee in.
He ate so many armadillos when I was young, I still roll up into a ball when I hear a dog bark (poor).
Hot as a two-dollar whore on the Fourth of July.
She makes a hornet look cuddly.
Tired as a boomtown whore.
They call her “radio station” because anyone can pick her up, especially at night.
She’s just naturally horizontal.
She could talk a coon right out of a tree.
She speaks ten words a second, with gusts to fifty.
Anytime you happen to pass my house, I’d sure appreciate it.
What did you do with the money your mama gave you for singing lessons?
Were you raised in a barn?
Arguing with a wooden Indian.
He couldn’t get a date at the Chicken Ranch with a truckload of fryers.
Serious as the business end of a .45.
2618   rocketjoe79   ignore (2)   2020 May 8, 7:45pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

You give that boy a bowling ball and a feather, and see which one he don't break first.
It's the least I can do for ya, on account of I always want to do the VERY least.
That boy is missing a few shirts in his closet. (Jack Reacher)
2619   just_dregalicious   ignore (2)   2020 May 8, 10:34pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

rd6B says
Our cars are on wheels, house rests on bricks, but for redneck it is the other way around.


Never felt bad about being in TX after visiting Western North Carolina.
2630   Patrick   ignore (1)   2020 May 16, 12:38pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Boris seems like basically a good guy. But I don't know all his policy details.

https://www.conservapedia.com/Boris_Johnson#Political_views
2631   HeadSet   ignore (3)   2020 May 16, 1:55pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Boris seems like basically a good guy. But I don't know all his policy details.

He ran for office as one who would curtail mass immigration, and then turned pro-immigration after elected.
2632   OccasionalCortex   ignore (5)   2020 May 16, 2:03pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Cash says


Even the Queen can't say 'ass' correctly.
2638   Patrick   ignore (1)   2020 May 19, 6:03pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Her offer looks acceptable, even from that angle.
2649   Ceffer   ignore (5)   2020 May 27, 5:51pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Not to mention I am seeing discarded, used masks around all over the place now in public. Covid mask litterbugs, yeah, another highly effective strategy from the people that give you such great strategies.

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